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Re: When do you love/hate being single? [Re: Julie Anne] #489407 01/30/09 03:44 PM
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I have found very interesting and sad to read so many messages from women who feel liberated being single because they were in such terrible marriages.
I was 33 years old when I met my husband, and except for some occasional very short-lived stories, I was always single. I am only 38 now, so I still can say, I was single for most of my life. I had no problem spending time alone. I have lived with roommates, I never had problems with my them, they are still friends, but the 4 years previous to meeting my husband I lived alone and I loved it. I loved the cosiness of coming back home to my very own home, finding everything where I left it, eating always my favorite meals, the freedom to live the apartment in the middle of the day because a friend would like to drink a coffee somewhere... And if I left the kitchen in a mess I didn't have to justify myself in front of anybody!!
Of course I missed something sometimes (especially Saturday nights). I traveled alone a lot and had fun and met people who are now in my facebook :-)) but it is nice to share what you see. Not to mention, backpacking and sightseeing were fine for me but beach holidays alone... no way. As for sex, I have done one night stands, but it is not really something to look forward to or be proud of... On the other hand, I didn't need 24/7 company as so many people do and I did not want to have children at all, so I used to say that I wanted to have a man just for sex and traveling, it is an exaggeration, of course, I must admit I like to provoke with my statements :-)). Anyway, with the years you are so used to living alone that you cannot imagine sharing your life.
When I met my husband, it was love at first sight for him, but not for me. I was too cynical. I fell in love eventually, had a two year long distance relationship (2 hours flight every second weekend)with short periods together, and only when I was 100% sure that we complemented each other pretty good and that my life would be better, we moved in together and got married almost 3 years ago. I love him more than ever, we respect each other we are very different, he is the sensible one who wants to have it all figured out, I am the crazy unconventional type: our differences have caused fascination about each other but also arguments and conflict in our relationship, but we managed to talk everything out and work it through. And we trust each other and we are best friends.
What I mean to say, I thank all the years alone, that gave me the time, distance and strength to know myself better, my needs and what makes me happy. I don't want to know what my life would have been like if I had ended up with some of the guys I used to like when I was 18 or 21 years old!

Re: When do you love/hate being single? [Re: Solalux] #498446 02/28/09 11:02 PM
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I also must say that I LOVE the freedom that so many others have mentioned. The freedom of movement, space, association. In the brief and few relationships I've had, it wasn't long before I started to feel cramped and held in and I'm at the point where I feel like if there's someone out there, I'll meet him at some point. I'm not going to worry about it rush it. I've got LOTS to keep me busy in the meantime. However, sometimes I just wish there was someone else to do things now and then. How I dream of having someone else stop at the grocery store after work or feed the cats so I don't have to worry about when I'm getting home. It would be nice to have an extra set of hands now and then or maybe someone just to bounce ideas off of, but I've managed all this time. Sure, I miss someone to snuggle up with at times,but again, maybe he's out there and I just haven't met him yet. There's enough stress in my life right now just worrying about getting the bills paid and keeping a roof over my head. I don't think I could handle anyone else in that space right now, anyway! Que sera sera!

Re: When do you love/hate being single? [Re: Apple Blossom] #502261 03/13/09 12:09 PM
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I was in Florida and have a sunburned back.

I really hated being single last night when I needed lotion rubbed into my back.

Re: When do you love/hate being single? [Re: dmichelle] #502373 03/13/09 06:47 PM
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Originally Posted By: dmichelle
I was in Florida and have a sunburned back.

I really hated being single last night when I needed lotion rubbed into my back.


See? That's what you get for going to Florida and not taking me with you. lol.

How was it there and where were you?


Vance Rowe
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Re: When do you love/hate being single? [Re: Vance - Crime Editor] #503030 03/16/09 03:38 PM
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I was in Daytona for bike week. It was 82.. not a cloud in the sky. I used sunscreen but only where I could reach. I have tan lines of my fingers on my back. LOL

Re: When do you love/hate being single? [Re: dmichelle] #503316 03/17/09 12:24 PM
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Forgot to mention how much I loved being single while I was there!

Re: When do you love/hate being single? [Re: Cy_Single_Life] #506600 03/29/09 06:31 PM
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Having been single for most of my life, I would definitely say being in a relationship is much better. Then again, it depends on the kind of relationship you have. People often stay with someone out of fear of being alone which is the worst choice you can make. Nobody likes going to sleep and waking up alone, and sharing even the simplest things in life with someone else is something we all need. Perhaps an advantage to being single is the freedom to decide what you want to do and how to spend your time without making all those small/big sacrifices. It's also fine being single when most of your friends are too and you can have fun going out, but when you feel like the last single person then it can get a bit depressing..

Re: When do you love/hate being single? [Re: christiana1981] #506615 03/29/09 07:35 PM
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Hi Christiana, Welcome to the forum, We hope that you enjoy your stay.
As for me i like being alone, And i love sleeping and waking up alone.
I have married friend, single friends, and friends that are in relationships, I like my life the way it is.


Rosie L
Re: When do you love/hate being single? [Re: "Rosie"] #515298 04/25/09 03:11 AM
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I sometimes like being single -- been a widow since the end of January 2000 -- and sometimes I don't like it -- when I need someone to do something for me I can't do, such as put eye drops in my eyes when I had eye surgery. The best thing about being single is that I can save money and not living paycheck to paycheck -- my husband was in charge of the money, like I learned as a child from my parents -- he wasn't good with money -- I have more money now than at anytime in my life and yes, I live in a low-income elderly place where they charge by income and provide the water and trash services -- but too, I don't have a TV and no car, since it was costing me money to get it started since there was a major problem with it -- I miss it, since I have a walker and can't use the bus service which is available to those who can walk and climb steps. The worse things about being single is there is no one to travel with -- my husband did all of the driving, he carried things for me, since I was crippled and now use a walker -- there is no one to take me places, like out to eat, unless I call a cab -- there is no one around in case I get sick -- I have a daughter who lives three hours away and seldom comes up and my mother lives at the opposite end of the state than we do, which means I seldom ever see her, unless my daughter is willing to take me up and I pay the bills for the trip. Also, there is more income for those who live on Social Security or even Social Security disability if there are two people in the house. I can't see my life changing to being a part of a couple, since no man wants a crippled wife at my age and no way to meet them if they were available either. Donna Werhan donnaw@kans.com

Re: When do you love/hate being single? [Re: donnaw] #518079 05/04/09 08:29 PM
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Sometimes I'm fine with being single but lately it seems all the people I know are either in serious relationship's or are getting married and having their own families. I'm twenty-six and have never had a relationship because I used to be very shy and couldn't ever talk to boys and the one's who liked me in the past in high school I never took seriously because they were opposite of me (they were popular/preppy and I wasn't). I'm wanting to date now but it seems because of college and my career goals it's not meant to be. :(

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