BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids New here

Hello, Thanks for your replies. I don't think anyone was too harsh at all. It was funny, because, on the weekend, our first ever babysitting opportunity presented itself. They are our friends' children that I have known for a while. They're a bit older and I'm very fond of them. I wasn't exactly looking forward to it and neither was OH. Or at least so he said. I questioned him about this and said I thought he liked kids. He said he did, just not looking after them! I said so, if you had kids, who would look after them? Me? And he said no, he didn't know, we'd just get a childminder or something. So... if he wasn't just saying that cos he thought it was what I wanted to hear (i.e. negative view on children), then he clearly hasn't given a moment's serious thought to it, as you all so rightly said :-) . Which begs the question, why the hell am I worrying myself sick about him missing out on fatherhood in the future, when he hasn't even thought seriously about when he would even spend any time with his future children? I've decided to stop worrying about it, as he obviously isn't! After that I don't think I can really imagine him begging me to start a family with him, unless I was the one prepared to make all the decisions and do all the work. Fair enough, everyone's got different views on these things, but at least I can stop feeling guilty about it. xxx

You all guyz have interesting and different kind of experience about life. Keep it up.

I agree so much with the comments made.
There should be no compromise on children. As an individual we either want children or not. To bring a child into the world to please someone else is awful.
Over the years I have seen so many clients in so many different situations who compromised their child free status for their partners I could write a book.

In the end the children lose out. The strain a child places on a relationship can be tremendous at times. Children deserve to come into the world to loving parents. I know children are born into relationships and they survive. But many don't.
Think of the emotional bonds we form with children, to have a child does not automaticlly mean we will learn to love and care for that child. As I say I could write a book so I am going to stop now or else I will end up on a soap box.