BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Journals Did you Not Do the Right Thing?

February 21st - Sometimes our regrets are not about what we say, but as Harriet Beecher Stowe reminds us, are about "deeds left undone". Even Scriptures remind us that "he who knows to do good, but doesn't do it, to him it is sin." Has there been a time in your life when you knew to do something but didn't do it? How do you feel about that? Perhaps today you can write a short story in your journal about how that situation might have played out if you'd done what you knew needed to be done.

Feb 21st Daily Prompt

There have been times I've been in public (a party or something) and someone has said a questionable statement, maybe a joke about a race or religion or something, that made me uncomfortable. But I didn't speak out against it. I'm still not quite sure how to handle those situations. I don't want to ruin the party and start an argument ... but I'm not sure I should be making it seem that I agree with that sort of thing either ... so I should do *something*.

When I was about 10 years old this teenager broke into my neighbors garage and took a bicycle. The neighbor across the street saw him and came out and tackled him and this young punk kid was smashed into the curb.

Two hours later he was STILL sitting on the curb, all bloody-faced and handcuffed as the police took their time bringing him in. I had the prompting to bring him a glass of water, but never did because everyone else was so glad to see him "get what he deserved". All I could think was how sad he must be sitting in the hot sun (100 plus degrees in southern california) without any water like that.

I've thought about it for years. I've always felt bad that I didn't follow my heart, but let fear of others stand in my way. I think that this singular incident has served to make me more aware of others and speedier to reach out to someone in need.

Angela <><

The fact that at 10 years old that you wanted to shows you had a wonderful heart. How hard it would have been for a child to have walked in front of all those adults!

The fact that you still wonder about just shows that you still have a wonderful heart, and that you probably have never passed up such a chance again.

Me, I'm the one that cringes from any kind of confrontation. I know I don't do so badly on here, but I'm not face-to-face with anybody. So I will let things go pretty far in any situation before I will say something, instead of heading something off early when it could be handled with less emotion.

My Dad tends to be extrememly hard on the boys in our family and then babies the girls. It is very unfair. Then he is even tougher on my nephew than anyone else for some reason that I have never figured out. For a long time I just stayed out of it, thinking I would make it worse. I finally decided he was being a bully - and have told the kids as much. And I told him so, too. It hasn't really changed his behavior any, but now the kids know they have an adult behind them and they are not alone. I just wish I had done it sooner, instead of acting like a scared child myself.

Angela - that was caring of you, at a young age, to want to do the right thing. I agree with Michelle, that as a child you really didn't have much choice, interfering with adults. It is good you took the message to heart and strive to right wrongs now that you can!

Michelle - family dynamics are SO hard. There are so many times that you know a parent is "not right" but it's not really your place to correct them.

I have a lot of relationship books I get sent to review and what they all suggest is the carrot method. That is, if you scold someone for doing something wrong they get defensive, justify their actions to themselves and now that they're embarrassed they could get even worse. Instead, try your best to spot them doing even something MINOR right. If even the slightest praise comes out of his lips for a boy, chime in and agree whole-heartedly. Bolster him. If you bolster his good times, and deliberately ignore the bad times (maybe removing the child from the situation and "abandoning" the dad) then that seems to be what reinforces good behavior.

I know, easier said than done!