BellaOnline Forums Family Adoption adoption disruption/dissolution

I am close to several families who have been affected either by welcome a child through a disrupted adoption or placing their adopted child in another family. Until you have walked a day in their shoes, you cannot know what led up to their decisions. There are times when it truly is in the best interests of the child to be placed in another family. I have personally witnessed situations where the child was then able to thrive, and it wasn't for the lack of the previous family trying to help their child.

I totally agree - and I think the first family has a lot to do with teh second family suceeding. If the first family is totally open about all the issues that developed and when the second family has time to plan a defence - meaning they can parent BEFORE the conflict and not be caught off guard. I currently am offering respite care for a special needs four year old who on the verge of a dissolution

Somehow I missed this conversation, but I wanted to comment.

Having adopted a child with attachment disorder, finding no answers, having other children in the family to protect, I had to make a choice to give her up.

I had kept in contact with her birth mom, so when she said she wanted to take her and try, that is what we did. She will be 18 in March and while she still has issues, she's doing ok. She will never be as attached as other kids, and she is still a me first personality, or "me instead" personality, but her mom has kept it up now for quite some time, and she's getting decent grades, and seems to know right from wrong.

I couldn't do it, I don't have it in me to do it. Not everyone is cut out for that type of parenting.