BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Is there hope? No means NO!

Jill, you're lucky re the grandchild. I really, really do feel sorry for my mother (and somewhat guilty, even though I wouldn't change my decision for anything). My Mum is one of those women who was absolutely BORN to have grandkids. She would have been one of those insufferable grandmas with billions of photos hanging out of her purse and nothing else to talk about but them. Sadly for her, though, I've always known I didn't want kids, and my husband is the same. It must be once a week where we comment how thankful we are that we didn't get pushed down that road. So, that route's closed. Even sadder is my younger brother is somewhat damaged socially and doesn't even want the responsibility of a girlfriend let alone kids. So my Mum sits with her sisters (who all have buckets of grandkids) and I'm sure feels pretty sorry for herself, although she puts on a brave face and has never given me grief. It's just kinda... sad. My husband is an only child, so his parents are out-of-luck, too.

Karen

on_a_roll, I'm with you on the women's magazines. I don't read them either (I tend to be more interested in things like Scientific American and Consumer Reports, anyway). But something else crossed my mind when I read this... where did that 93% "statistic" come from? Many public opinion surveys -- especially things that show up in magazines, entertainment, and internet polls -- collect data that is rife with what statisticians call nonsampling error, and this leads to unreliable results. For example, if this magazine took a reader's survey, thereby soliciting opinions only from men who read the magazine, then of course the results are going to reflect only a certain kind of man and not the general population.

I guess what I am saying is that before I would accept 93% as a fact, I would do a little more research and see if any reputable organization has replicated that.

Karen, I feel similar to what you described. My mother loves children, would do anything for grandkids, and would be an extremely doting grandmother. My mother's older brother and younger sister are having new grandchildren all the time, and I know it just kills my mom.

I have some hope that my brother or sister might have children someday so that my mother can finally have her wish. However, at 30, my brother thinks he is "too old" to start having children (I have tried to convince him that if he really wants children, 30 is actually a fairly young age to have a first child); and my sister loves living alone, almost never dates anyone, and would definitely not be in a position for single-parenthood.

I think my mother realizes that having to wait so long for grandchildren (or eventually having very few or none at all) is a consequence of her raising very strong, independent, intelligent children who are all university graduates with amazing careers. So, I think that her pride in us is some comfort to the no-grandchild thing.