BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Deafness 10 commandments of dealing with hearing impaired

Hi I've had 2 distinct reactions from people when they see my hearing aid. The first, like so many of you find, is that they think I can hear perfectly because of my aid. The reaction from other people is that they think that they have to shout. Wouldn't it be wonderful if people with normal hearing could go on a hearing loss simulation programme for say a week or a month and have a temporary hearing loss and wear hearing aids to see what life is like for us? Maybe then they would get a better understanding of what it's like to be hard of hearing and to have to wear hearing aids every day! Ian

It would be a good idea if people were required to experience how others live. Maybe if someone was rude to a deaf person then they have to go to 'live deaf for a day courses :-)!

Your comments prompted me to write this article.
Imagine being deaf for a dayBellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!

I am almost 31 and have been losing my hearing since I had my daughter 7 years ago. At my last visit I had 60% loss in my left ear and 35% loss in my right ear although I have noticed it worsening since then. When I was diagnosed with ottosclerosis 5 years ago, my doctor informed me that I would probably not lose ALL of my hearing. It may get to 10% remaining. Oh, joy! I guess it's better than the alternative. I have been delighted to find this forum today and will make this a regular tool for coping with my hearing loss. I find it very difficult to deal with people who don't know I'm hearing impaired. In fact, when I found this site and told my husband, this was the conversation that followed: DH: You think you're hearing impaired? Me: You think I'm not? DH: You're not deaf. Me: Hence the word "impaired" DH: So if you wear glasses are you visually impaired? Me: You're certainly not automatically blind! I read to him and my DD the 10 Commandments and I could see them light up a bit to discover that this is real. This struggle that I've been going through for the last 7 years is a real problem that other people go through, too. It is so great to read about how you all deal with it. One challenge that I find is like others have said - when you ask people to repeat themselves or say "I can't hear you" they either yell it at you rudely or just say it again with the same tone. My latest example of this was my professor (I'm in MBA classes) who was hidden behind her computer monitor when she said that if we had not posted our assignments yet that we needed to go to another room. She trailed off as she spoke so by the time I leaned over to see around her monitor, I could tell she was saying something but couldn't read her lips. I moved over to see her face and asked her what she said. She proceeded to practically yell to me that I needed to go to another room. Urgh! I was furious! Being in the classroom presents a whole new set of challenges. If I sit in the front so I can hear the professor I have my back turned to all the other classmates and can't hear them. Then I have to crane my neck to look at them and try to read their lips. Enter into the mix a Nigerian with a HEAVY accent and one guy who barely whispers when he speaks and it's pretty funny! My main reason for joining this forum was to see how you all deal with people that you will have to work with for a given period of time (6 weeks or more) - how do you explain to them that you have trouble hearing them? And how early do you do it? I try not to say anything unless I have to but at some point I end up saying, "I have a really hard time hearing your voice. I'm hearing impaired so if you could let me see your mouth when you talk or speak up when you can, it would help me a lot." I usually try to tell professors pretty quickly but I don't want to seem needy. Any advice you could give would be much appreciated. Thanks to the member who gave information about Costco. I will check them out and hopefully find some help through hearing aids. Thanks a Million!!!! Liz

Hi again Liz
The work place and study pose special challenges for those of us with a hearing problem. I gave up tertiary study twice because of my hearing loss. The 2nd time I had similar issues to you (up front, but can't hear the students or the lecturer when he turned to the white board etc). Finally I completed my BA degree on line. By then I had had my cochlear implant and could hear again, but so many buildings are acoustically difficult even though I have at least 50% normal hearing again and can understand (in controlled situations where they test me)100% of everything. (I am having a 2nd bi-lateral cochlear implant in 15 days time).

I tell everyone I meet first up that I am deaf... Having said that, I know there are people I forget to tell now because my hearing is so close to normal these days. I used to tell every single person I met. I used to say the least important thing about me was my deafness but it had to be the first thing I told anyone. I understand your frustration.

I have little problem at work these days because I can use a phone again and can hear people talking to me. I tune out like all good hearing people do so I don't get disturbed. I do have a bit of trouble with direction of sound with only 1 ear implanted and find it hard to tell if it is my phone ringing or the one on the next desk.

But today I took a call on my mobile in the car. The air conditioner fan was going full bore and the road noise was really loud. I found it hard to hear then but I maanged because I knew who it was.

You do say the right thing to people, explaining how best they shoudl speak to you. Unfortunately you probably do need to tell everyone you meet otherwise they think you are stupid, rude or snob (take your pick)! I used to hate it when at the check out I would have to say I'm deaf. and they'd answer, that's alright. I used to get angry sometimes and say back ' no it's not alright. I hate it...:-)

Keep in touch

Hello Just new to the website today. Have tried to find "the Ten Commandments" but have been unable to do so. Please assist. Thanx dq

Please list the 10 commandments. I cannot find them, Thank you.

Try this link but type the www in the front as I'm unable to include a correct link here

.uvm.edu/~lizzo/hearing_impaired_suggestions.pdf

Here is the 10 Commandments hyperlink:

Hearing Impaired Suggestions

Sadhana, thanks for the link. I'm somewhat hearing impaired, and having this list up might help my students to better deal with me. They get so upset when I ask them to repeat themselves. This might help them to remember that I can't always here them when others are whispering or the air conditioning is on!