BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Dreading Godson's Christening

This event is tomorrow and basically the parents (mainly the mother, my erstwhile friend F) usually spend most of the time bingoing me or bickering between themselves when I am there.

F really has become objectionable in the last few years, even expressing superiority towards her sister's kid (F's babies had higher birthweight) and a mutual friend's kid (who was born with disability) - it's all about parenting for her, and she's the uber-mother.

I don't want to go on putting up with the snide remarks about my lifestyle, but I never answer back, I just go silent. And there never seems to be an appropriate moment to answer back, as F always has a skirt of children around her, like a human shield - you remember when Saddam Hussein kidnapped all those Western hostages so the West wouldn't bomb him?

Wish I hadn't agreed to be godmother. I said yes to the first one 7 years ago, and then, because I didn't want them to think I was a horrible person, I said yes to the new one a year ago. The kids are fine - just kids. But I really get upset by spending time with the parents - it's either being brought into their arguments or enduring criticism of my life.

Am thinking of turning up tomorrow for appearances' sake, but maybe leaving it after that and just not going back again. It upsets me too much.

Just think of it as being there for the TRUE pprupose o being a Godparent.

Agreeing to being a Godparent does not mean you will babysite at a moment's notice, but that you will love and support this child as if he (or she) were your own. And these little ones sound like they need it.'

So go play with the kiddos and just put it off on, "Oh I'm just doing the Goparent stuff [wink wink}, and they'll oo and ah and nwalk away.

Thanks Michelle

Yeah, I thought about doing it like that. Just pay attention to the children and ignore the adults.

I have trouble chiefly when they ask me what I've been up to cos they haven't seen me for a few months. I need a stock answer really, because when I tell the truth about things that mean a lot to me (like my studies) then their subtle contempt is too painful. The only way F would approve of anyone at all would be if they were a carbon copy of her.

Yep, just a stock answer that changes the subject is needed. Any ideas?

Mind you, it would have to be a stock answer that I could use every time I see them lol...

Just say, "I am busy with my studies. Thank God I don't have children to worry about while I am doing them."

or

"I have been busy with my studies and enjoying my child free life. Other than that, not too much and you?"

Either working on studies or busy with a project at work that requires speaking much "tech speak" that only othter techies would understand- but the rest of nthe worldjust nods their head dumbly going uhuh,uhuh - Because that waon't dare say they dodn't understand a waord you just said becuase then they sound liek a complete neophyte!

Start talking Ip addreeses, adn real off a whole bunch of nunmbers, the list off the newsest adn worst virususe that have been hacking into the systema - spysware, antivirus - these are words they can comprehend and havehhearad of but are not tilkely to engage you in a lengthy converation in.

Become SUPER GEEK.

Of course then you run the risk af great aunt Irma calling you on Sunday wanting you to fix her computer that she unplugged....

LOL Thats exactly what I was thinking when I was reading become a super geek Michelle.

I tried that one and I STILL get calls from friends and siblings, and now my boss, asking about techie questions.

It's a good idea to just bore them lol. Think I have to keep the response short and sweet. If they want to know any more I'll just have to change the subject back to them.

If they probe I'd just have to explain that it's best we don't talk about any of my personal stuff.

I only visit about 3 times a year, but I make a load of bloody fuss about it!

Offer to pull out your Arachnology collection that you have been gathering and dissecting for your masters in Entymology!

Lets see in one sentence you have said:
spiders
dissect
and bugs - yep I bet they'd leave you alone then and PRAY you never procreate, LOL!

(I turn evil when woken up at 6 AM by a flying 5 yr old)

how about--"oh just studying, but I am sure it is not nearly as exciting or as important as what you have been doing." insult yourself before they get a chance to and put the ball in their court. Then if they go on about their superior life say "see I knew I could never have a life as wonderful as yours!" I tend toward the sarcastic. I read somewhere that sarcasm takes more intelligence ---when I need to I can out snot the snottiest!

you could also tell them you can't discuss it because it would blow your cover with the CIA.