BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Pregnancy freaks me out

I am a fence sitter- I never really wanted children, I don't enjoy babies and few children ever charm me; I never pictured kids as part of my future. Recently I've begun to experience some serious worry, for the first time in my life, over the possibility of rolling the dice and gettin knocked up. I'm about to get married. My S/O & I have been together for almost 14 years and always agreed that we weren't about having kids. We are both only children, though he is part of a very large, very close extended family. Lately he has been saying that he always thought we would have kids one day. Part of me would love to have a big family like the one he comes from, and I would love to have another person like my S/O in my life. I also think he would be a great father, so in spite of my own ambivilance I am seriously considering giving in on this. I'm starting to feel panicked because we are 33 years old now. I am on the cusp of being considered a dangerous age for pregnancy- but what really has me scared is that the thought of being pregnant really kind of revolts me.

For as long as I can remember I have been disturbed by pregnant ladies. It just seems gross to me. I think they should stay home or something. I know this sounds ridiculous and childish, but it is a visceral strong feeling I have. It seems so inappropriate to me when I see a pregnant woman waddling around town...how can I possibly be considering joining their ranks? And everything about pregnancy seems horrible. The very idea of something living and moving around in my stomach...queez... the swelling and spreading, broken veins and strech marks, ruined frizzy hair and sagging breasts- not to mention the gruesome changes I've heard tell of south of the waistline- hem'roids??? Tearing??? Blech! I don't understand how the OVERWHELMING majority of women are all too eager to permanently stretch themselves. It's like you're rolling around town about to pop, to burst forth with a bunch of slimy ooze, like a big zit. I would be so embarassed to amble around gut-first everywhere. I know I would not want to go out in public the whole time. Am I the only person who thinks this is yucky?

++I am so glad I found this forum where I can post something like this and not worry about being driven from the village with torches and pitchforks

*grabs pitchfork and torch*

RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;0)


You could always foster or adopt if you wish to try children in the future. If being pregnant revolts you and you agreed to not HAVE children, then I think you should consider an alternative if you give in to having children.

seriously, pregnancy is gross to me too. however if you really are considering having a baby soon, there are hormones that kick in and give a certain sense of euphoria in connection with the other physical changes, or so I have heard.

I am with you 100%, vespertine! I am always confused when people say there is nothing as beautiful as a glowing pregnant woman. I fail to see the "beauty" in pregnancy or birth.
On a semi-related note, i have always been irritated by couples that say "we" are pregnant!

Also, I agree with Jase- there are plenty of children out there that need good homes. i feel sad for these unwanted children- i wish more people would adopt instead of insisting on having their own spawn.

on a roll, I hear what you are saying about unwanted children who need homes. Then on the other hand I see a lot of babies that would be better off being put up for adoption and given the chance at having parents who love and care for them rather than being kept by the inept people who gave birth to them.

There are so many teenage girls who are guilt tripped into keeping babies they don't want or have a clue how to care for...much less the resources.

For instance, my neighbor has a granddaughter who has been a real problem child. She's always had a chip on her shoulder, is disrespectful no matter what her family did for her. She talks to her grandmother horribly and finally after one of her boyfriends got rough with granny a while back she was forbidden to visit. Well, I saw my neighbor and she seemed to be upset and on the verge of tears...I asked her if she was alright and she said the evil seed (my secret name for the girl) was pregnant and didn't know who the dad was.

Well, guess what evil seed says she's not giving HER baby up for adoption! She has no job, no education and is selfishly going to deny the baby a chance at a decent life.

Far too many of these babies end up with no real homelife or home training and end up being drains on society...

Forgive me if I ventured off topic a bit...but this is fresh on my mind and frankly it's disgusting to me. Although, it might be unfair to give this baby to an unsuspecting couple as this girl's attitude might be hereditary!

Hi msbaby- I agree with you. There is nothing "heroic" about keeping these babies.

I work with a girl who has a crazy mother and a LOSER boyfriend. Suprise! She got pregnant, doesn't know if the guy is sticking around, but is keeping the baby, and I'm supposed to be happy for her?!?! I'm sorry, but this baby has no chance at a decent life!

I agree, pregnancy does sound disgusting! I hate feeling uncomfortable, can't imagine having it happen for nine months. We finally decided that we are not going to have our own children, are going to get a Vasec-consult this week. Hoping the doctor will do it, seeing as how we are still in our 20's. But if we decide we ever want kids, we will adopt. I think adopting would help the world out a lot more than having our own... Still, I don't think we'll ever have kids.

I agree with all of you too -- the very idea of something "growing inside me" sounds like it's right out of the movie Alien!!

Plus I had 12 pound tumor growing on the outside of my uterus when I was 23. It was as big as a baby, and it gave me all the symptoms associated with pregnancy -- my back hurt, my belly was HUGE, and it was pushing on my bladder, stomach, lungs, and heart. I'd never want to go through that again, especially voluntarily!!! One 10 hour surgery later and it was OUT OF ME, and the best part? No baby to take care of!!

And I hate it when people say "we" are pregnant too! WHO is the pregnant one?? NOT HIM!! :-)

Kim

Kim Kenney
MNK Editor

Yes, it is disgusting to me too. I CAN NOT UNDERSTAND how women happily do this.