BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids housewarming party gone bad...

I once agreed to take my friend's child to another kid's birthday party at a gymnastics school. LONGEST HOUR OF MY LIFE! The parents sat or stood around while the girls did the activities. I didn't know any of the parents and most of the conversation was about their kids and school. I wasn't sure why the kids could not have been dropped off and then picked up later. I don't recall my mom or other parents staying for birthday parties when I was a child. But now all the parents seem to go to all the parties. I just glad its not something I have to do on weekends!

It's wierd how people I know to be animated and fun can become zombies in the blink of an eye when their children show up. I sometimes attend a ladies church group and am one of the only two CF members. It kind of gauls me how the other members focus on doing things that are kid serving(read THEIR kids) rather than community serving, but then use the group as an excuse to get away from their children. Anyway, whenever even one of the kids shows up that same phenomenon happens. All of the moms stare blankly at the kid while it picks its nose and I sit around wondering how long I have to stay so that they won't think I'm being rude and leaving abruptly. It is like something catches in their brains- they arent interacting with the children OR the adults. It reminds me of droning insects. There should be a word for this. I wonder what you would see on one of those MRI captures if you could study what part of a parent's brain lights up when they are blankly staring at their three year old while he throws his truck on the ground over and over again...

HI Vespertine! It IS like droning insects! I know what you mean about wondering when is the soonest I can leave without being rude.

And the thing is- during times like these, I have tried to bring up topics of conversation, but it always ends up back at the children. (Usually with an anecdote involving potty time!)

PS I assume you are a Bjork fan. I adore her! What did you think of Volta?

Does your co-worker have children? I'm wondering if the co-worker wasn't just as uncomfortable and didn't want to be rude?

I have children and 98-99% of the time would never go to a party, houswarming, avon, or otherwise. NEVER, actually, unless someone pushed the issue and wanted me to come.

Unless you have a good babysitter or the husband or boyfriend will actually take the weekend off to watch the kids, you're kind of on your own, sadly. I went 3 or 4 years without having anyone trustworthy and an absente father. Sitters are just a trial and error thing, especially these days!

I'd love more details as to what was going on - like how many people were there total, etc.

The house warming parties I go to usually have a cookout, wine or beer etc. for icebraking if necess, juice, water, etc. for the occasion and everyone gets to know each other. Sometimes networking takes place.

I wouldn't write off the housewarming guest altogether, they could have been just trying to do what the majority wanted to do or could talk about??


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Elleise
Clairvoyance Editor

I've now sworn off baby showers and bridal showers because of the lack of conversational topics...I'd say it's pretty much the norm for women my age (34) to talk about their kids, planning to have kids, etc. on_a_roll is right, even if you try to change the conversation it always ends up back at the kids. People my parents' age (also present in large numbers at showers) talk about their grandkids constantly! The other reason to avoid these events is typically they're during the day and there's no alcoholic diversions! At least housewarmings are in the evenings so having a glass of wine in hand is a given.

It took me a minute to figure out the Bjork connection- to tell you the truth. I thought: Did Bjork use my Nabokov quote in a song?!? I was pumped! Actually I've been using that handle since before Bjork did her thing... though I do enjoy some of her stuff. I am more of a Pixies fan. I haven't heard Volta- clearly I need to check that out

Incidentally, about a year ago I put Debut in my CD alarm wake up thing and after about a month of waking up to Human Behavior every day my S/O told me it was ruining his life- he said "I used to like this CD; Now I feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. NO MORE BJORK!"

So now we wake up to the buzzer & Bjork will always remind me of the bleak sunrise of an endless winter... and The Pensylvania Polka.

Oh, that is funny! I LOVE Groundhog Day. I guess I should have been more specific with my comment, LOL. I like the Pixies, too but I am a huge Bjork fan. Volta is a trip. I also enjoy her earlier work with the sugarcubes. Man, that girl can sing!