BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Inspiration Forgiveness

Michelle, for my part, no apolgy is necessary at all. If anything, perhaps I should apologise to you for 'opening' the subject wider, and compelling you perhaps, to elaborate on a point you might not have wanted to expand on....The clarification, of course, helped.
because as I then further went on to say, I think forgiving children "Conditionally" as it were, is important to their upbringing and education. They do need boundaries. They have to know that Love has no limits, but that discipline most certainly does....
And your point about the adulterous spouse is also true....
In short, I think every situation has to be evaluated on its circumstances - but our reluctance or unwillingness to 'let it go' after a period of time, might say as much about our own 'agenda' as it does theirs..... maybe....?

Nadaurz,good post.

I actually do not mind sharing my story of Michael.

So many parents of AS kids feel isolated and like they are doing everything wrong, and a tremendous sense of guilt - I know it has been refreshing in the past for me to hear other's stories. So I'm willing to share my own in the hopes that it will give someone else a feeling of "I'm not alone!"

I think part of this may come down to how we define "trust". Words are so tricky

I may have a friend who adores spicy food. If I let them choose a restaurant, and they choose something spicy, then I don't trust them going forward to choose restaurants I will find match my palate. It's not that I am judging them to be "bad" or wrong or anything. It is just that I know what they provide is not what I seek.

If someone plays piano badly, then that is fine! But I would not choose them for my wedding. I would not "trust" them to play for my wedding. Maybe they are an awesome cook and would make the very best cake known. But I wouldn't keep "trusting" them to play the piano at my events, hoping they would get better. Instead, I would go with someone I knew did play the piano well.

So if a person always lies, it does not help me or them to keep putting them in situations where they will fail and I will be upset. Instead, I accept that they tend to lie, that it is part of how they handle life. And I make sure I am not in a situation where their lies may cause serious problems. I would not have them be the executor of a will for example. I wouldn't trust them to do brain surgery either. Every one of us has our strengths and weaknesses, and it's wise to be aware of them, I think.

I just saw this quote today, and thought it applied to this thread very well:

"Every Saint has a past; Every sinner has a future."

I thought that was lovely.

In life none other "FORGIVENESS" is a best gift.
Best for one who receive it and most beautiful who give it.
When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free

�There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.�

For me forgiveness means that you accept what was done to you and you then let that same person do it again so forgiveness is not for me and never will be. Anyway you cannot forgive someone that cannot admit what they did, this is the case with everyone who has done something bad to me so even if I changed my mind about forgiveness I could not do that to them. I will find a way to go on when I break free from them but that way won't be through forgiveness.