BellaOnline Forums Religion and Spirituality Meditation Eat, Pray, Love and Meditation

A key part of the memoir Eat, Pray and Love is that Elizabeth (the author) spends many months in an Ashram in India. She is having ALL sorts of trouble meditating. Her thoughts run in circles, she gets overwhelmed with negative emotions, and despite the best efforts of highly talented people, she feels unable to meditate healthily.

I have a review of this book in this forum -

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Hi everyone,

I have a review of Eat, Pray, Love on the Meditation site:

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Okay, I placed a hold on this book at my library!

Jilly, let us know your reactions to it!

Susan, I'd love to have a cup of tea with you someday. Seems like you've got some very interesting stories!

I liked EPL. I felt better for having read it, and I'm surprised to learn that there have been many negative reviews.

One thing EPL does is churn up emotions - perhaps some are looking for an entertaining story where they can remain at a distance ... my opinion ...

I am halfway through the book and I love it. No emotions being churned up. I don't think anything she is doing is very strange. But then, people say I've had a strange life too.

Her troubles with getting her mind to shut up sound like what we all have to deal with, at least from people I've talked to. I like the advice from her friends to watch the thoughts, not judge them, and to not assume she is failing b/c she can't dive right into her bellybutton.

In the book, she just decided to prolong her time at the ashram. Good choice; the rest of India will still be there later. This is her time to go as far inside as her inner self decides is correct.

And....grump. There is *no way* i could get up at 3:30 AM, BTW...don't they have ashrams for night owls?

ha, ha, ashrams for night owls - I found during my year at the ashram I had to get to bed as early as possible for 6am meditation ...

It seemed in the negative reviews that they primarily fell into two camps.

Camp 1 was made up of women who hated her right away because she didn't want to have kids. Remember, the key thing at the beginning of the book is her being happily married. Her crisis is that her husband assumes they will now have kids - and she definitely does NOT want them. For many moms out there, that instantly makes them feel defensive and upset. How dare she ruin a great thing just because she's so selfish that she won't give her husband a kid? She's crying because she doesn't want to have a baby? Buck up and have one already. There are still a LOT of people out there who feel that way - that as a functional mature adult woman who is married it is your duty to make kids, and if you don't you are selfish and wrong. So to hear of a woman not only feeling that way but actively divorcing her husband who loves her just to "get her way" really seems to upset them. So that seems to be a block of the angry reviews. Since it happens right at the beginning it "taints" the whole book for them.

There's another half of the reviews which I found fascinating. They were fine with the "take off to Italy and romp with a sexy guy" part. they didn't seem to mind the "take off on your husband" part. But when they hit the meditation part they were bored out of their skulls! A number of reviewers said they put the book down here. Some said they skipped pages until it got to the fun sex ending part.

This intrigues me so much. The readers crave excitement so much that even when they're "relaxing and reading" they can't read about learning to relax? They were so ADD that they couldn't read information and learn how to handle ADD - and they skipped ahead to an ADD-intense section? I mean, it's probably those people who needed that section the most!

Well, you know my stance on having kids, so I won't 'get' that part either.

Isn't more selfish to want to immortalize yourself by having kids to live through, or to have someone 'take care of you' later on? Isn't it more selfish to add to the world's population, taxing our limited resources, adding to the carbon footprint? I would think the few of us who don't want to make babies would be thanked somehow.

hmmm. I think i should move this to the proper forum...okay, that part is now here in MNK:

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So, who are these people who who have kids for all these dumba$$ reasons? And, why is that okay? If you don't want to have and raise a kid, DON'T! Please don't. It's hard as hell to raise them when you wholeheartedly want them. So, if you don't, then just don't do it.

Not for a husband or a family or for heavens' sake not so you can relive high school or raise a kid according to your "when I have a kid" list and for all you folks out there expecting kids to take care of you in old age, hellllooooo!!!!????? Wake up, people!

I'm sorry, but really? They rate a book negatively because the author lives a different life? Makes different choices? Has another idea?

I hereby applaud her (and others of like stance) for having a pair and saying "this is not for me".

And, I birthed and raised two kids, so I know what the he77 I'm talking about.

Okay, back to the midol and yoga for me!

I finished the book just now. LOVED IT. I am going to have to read those reviews on amazon, which will in all likelihood [censored] me off.

So before I do, i am heading to town to check my mail and think about the cool part about the medicine man saying that life is cyclic, that heaven and hell are the same, and that the journey there is what makes one's days enjoyable or not. And then decide how to make my journey rise upward.

After all, if it's the same destination either way, then only the waypoints along the path matter in the long run. May as well enjoy it.

Deb, I love your humor!

Jilly, I think you have a wonderful attitude about living fully in the moment!

Jilly I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

So what did you think of her meditation time? What would it have been like to spend several months in that meditation spot?

I think I'd do fine with a week retreat - but I think after that, with all the projects I have pending, that I'd want to start working on some of them again. I would really have to make a concerted effort to "end" all my projects - and not start any new ones before I gave it a try.

I personally have no desire to do an ashram experience like she did. I don't wake up early, I don't wish to scrub floors for five hours (or whatever I would get assigned), I don't want to eat vegetarian food and I totally would not enjoy the long periods of mediation and chanting.

Of course, this is where I am at in my life right now. Who is to say that later on I won't desire such an experience?

What I did like about her ashram time - i liked hearing about the lovely gardens, that one can use the special yoga room and meditation caves at any time of the day or night. I loved her experience on the roof. I liked that she had access to monks to help her feel out the 'answers' to her dilemmas.

When I think of 'retreat' i am more inclined to want spas and massages, long walks on the ocean, lots of time spent reading, and trying new wines. Not very ascetic.

Her time in Bali was much more my scene, to be totally honest.

But I did of course enjoy reading of her struggles with meditation, quieting her mind, and her transcendent reveals. It felt hopeful.

Lisa, knowing you, I do think it would be very difficult for you to put aside your productivity and to properly relax into this kind of experience. At least for the time it would take to get what you went for.

I think you would do it for a week, probably do it well and enjoy it...but all the while be planning how you would review it, where you would post about it, the articles you might write. Then after that week you'd probably start fretting about not being productive, wanting to multitask and work on your projects. Just as you said.

Me, I could let my projects go but would start feeling a bit trapped and agitated very soon. I would probably say, "no more" and head out to a beach to do what I wanted, instead of living on a strict schedule, which I kinda hate.

You know what, every time I've taken a week's retreat (and the long year-long stint at the ashram), it has changed my outlook on life - so much that what I was doing beforehand was seen from a different perspective afterward.

Those breaks from routine gave me a chance to pull closer to my priorities, which has repeatedly, daily, turned out to be kindness and service to my world-wide family of sisters and brothers, all.

Jill - you're right, I would be planning the entire time how to write it up and document it for others

I agree I really love tranquil gardens. When I was in St Louis I loved going to the botanical gardens downtown - they had a beautiful Japanese pond with docks.

You are surrounded by *gorgeous* nature where you are - can you make your own little prayer / meditation spot? Maybe put a little bell in a special location, and bring a cushion with you there and treat it as your personal retreat?

Susan - I think at some point in my life that might be great for me. Right now I have so much backlog that I couldn't do it without feeling guilty. I can't be away from the computer without guilt, because when I come back there are always messages about "why isn't X done??" waiting for me Once I get to the point that that doesn't happen, I'll be able to do it I think.

Lisa - make 'im wait a little longer while you take time for yourself - not often do I get true emergencies in my mail that can't wait till I rest, eat, meditate, shop, sleep ...

Lisa, i do like the idea of a personal retreat. let me think on this.

Susan, do you think from my comments that I would enjoy an ashram? I am curious from your POV.

Jilly, if you have a bent to know your spiritual self better, then go for a short visit, even a day, and try out the routine.

Hmmm. Like a day spa? A day ashram?

Forgive me if i sound flip. It's how I am in person, too.

But that DOES sound like an interesting idea. I will ponder.

I found that visiting the SelfRealization center and gardens in Encinitas, California, for a day, was such a peaceful and graceful experience that it opened my heart to more loving and kind thoughts.

Hmmm, I live near there. Let me look this up.

here is the link for the gardens:
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Yes, that's what I did. The office is to the left of the garden gate nearest the ocean. Everyone was very nice and helpful. It's a beautiful location at the top of a cliff overlooking the Pacific!

On my next trip in san diego i will have to check this out!