BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids What Flavor of Child-Free Are You?

Trish - yes, this actually was something that we brought up even before we met face to face. We met through Match.com, where each of us had made it plain we were not going to have ids and wanted a life partner who felt the same way. So it was part of our "package features."

And then when we realized we were serious about each other we brought it up again and were so happy to see that neither of us had any issues about biological clocks or family pressure or what have you. We got married, we got him snipped, and it never came up again, except to say, "thank god we don't have kids!"

I selected long term partner under age 45, since I am 19, my fiance is 24, and we've been together over three years and plan to get married once we are doing good with finances and all that. I do agree that different ages get different responses. The same with male/females. Tim always says, "Don't want kids. I'd like to be able to retire." Whoever asked him in the first place usually lets it go. His manager at his work told him that *I* might change my mind (and I'm the one that hates kids!). I think it's only because I'm a woman, but hey, whatever floats his boat. I get more responses like, "You don't want to be a mother to a CHILD?" And I say simply, "I can't stand the thought of that. I have my children" and point to Thomas and Bridget, whether rolling around on the floor looking at me with love, or just being QUIET. I've never wanted kids, ever since the thought of having them and not being one crossed my mind, and Tim has no brothers or sisters (6 in all excluding him, two separate sides of the family) that weren't brought here by "accident" including himself, so generally his parents applaud him for being child-free!

LinuxLady - you gave pretty much the same reasons that we have for not marrying. The "wedding stress" doesn't factor in for us - we are pretty independent and nobody would ever tell us how to have our own party or wedding So when we have parties, big or small, we do whatever we want. So that is actually something I *would* like to do, have a party to celebrate our being together for so long.

The big issue for me is legal / medical. Right now, if my boyfriend was hit by a car, I could NOT stay in his hotel room or make decisions. They would start calling up his aunt in New York and asking HER what to do. That really bothers me greatly. So while I value the "No ties are necessary" side emotionally, there is this Sword of Damocles up there that says if something bad happens, it could instantly spiral into something truly nasty because I do not have any legal rights to be there with him or to have a say in how he is treated.

TimsGirl that is so great that your family supports you in your decision. That can really spell the distinction between sanity and insanity for many people That constant pressure can be like water torture!

Lisa, have you made each other your Power of Attorney for Health?

That will take care of many of your worries right there and it's easy to do.

Also Power of Attorney for Finances is helpful.

DH and I have both of those in each other's name, just for absolute clarity on our wishes.