Well, I guess with some people, if it's not one thing, it's another. It seems like there are some out there who, no matter what you do, you just never fit.
Heck, even if you started popping out kids, going to church religiously (sorry, couldn't resist), and being their little mini-me's, they'd probably still have an issue.
I guess maybe I'm just not very PC, but I honestly don't know what to do in a situation like that. I've never been good at it. But, I applaud you for your efforts to be nice and actually take an interest in their lives.
Just don't let their unfortunate actions impact your view of yourself, or your abilities on the job. And, I guess, just keep looking for things to connect with...
Maybe it will eventually happen??
