BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Kids respecting parents...weird experience

At least your DH isn't casually killing off every living thing in his backyard. *pulls fistful of hair out*

Oy, men...sometimes you have to club them offer gentile alternatives to their ways of not thinking and wait patiently for positive effects.

So glad we have this site.

Edited to add: And glad we have Duane_Va, Mike_e and other men who give us those male POVs when we just don't see them!

I'm glad MsA posted here, now you can print out her response and show it to your guy! ;D "See, an actual parent thinks the same exact thing as me, maybe I actually have a POINT."

Meh, sounds like you have the dreaded super ego to fight through. Maybe if you phrased it not as "You're attacking me so I can't talk to you!" as "I really want to hear what your honest opinion is on this, and why. I don't want you to feel like I'm judging you for anything you did that night, (which he probably also felt) just WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK IT'S O.K. FOR A KID TO BREATHE SECOND HAND DRUGS?!" Eh heh....Oops, sorry for that. Did I mention I have a strong ego too? >;D

Well, I can't say that I usually find much to be in agreement with over here at the CF board (lol), but I'm with you here on all counts. Not only is it inappropriate to bring a child to a party with drugs present, much less DOING them when children are in your care, it is ILLEGAL. Even more so than just doing the drugs themselves. I'd wonder if there is some way to get word to the child's mother that this was going on.

If my husband and I were to ever divorce and he had the kids, I'd haul him into court in a heartbeat if I ever heard of anything half as troubling as this. If he needs to be getting high and can't hold off when he has his kid, here's and easy solution, DON'T TAKE HER.

And in my mind, being a parent does not automatically make you worthy of respect. My children and I earn one another's respect, and in our family we all work hard at treating eachother respectfully so that we can all co-exist peacefully under one roof. If I did any of the things that father did, I'd hope my daughter had the intellegence and SELF-respect to find someone not stoned to remove her to a safer situation.

See there's common ground at times between the CF and RESPONSIBLE parents. (by the way, I think 9 times out of 10, whenever we are speaking angrily of parents, it's the BAD ones that good parents should be just as mad at).

Wow! Thanks to the parents for pitching in your opinions (and of course it's nice when we all agree : ) )

I have a feeling this girl's mother is probably in a pretty sorry state that she would even share custody with this guy. I partially feel a lot of empathy for the little girl because my parents divorced when I was young, and i can see she's really suffering. I just kept looking around and thinking, this is so sad!! This poor kid. How much hope is there for her future when that's what she gets for parents? He's a really young guy, and it's obvious (to me) that the pregnancy was an accident and these people were not ready for parenting, that's for sure. That my DH is looking at her situation with such rose-color glasses is amazing to me. It's also pretty amazing that this guy hasn't been reported yet, really.

I'm thinking of showing this to him Grey...but not sure. I don't really want to start back up with him about it. I can debate, but he's better at saying whatever he needs to to "win" and it's probably best I don't even go there. He gets emotional very quickly, and doesn't always play fair in conversations like this. He would just be [censored] at me for outing him here, and it would turn into a whole argument about my time at the forum, and how his business is private, and so on blah blah blah.

It's not our job to "fix" this situation, and to tell the truth, I'm not sure what can fix it. Reporting him? I don't know. He loves her, and is just a bonehead, and I don't think foster care would necessarily be a better solution. Her mother maybe, but I've never met her, and have some suspicions she's just as bad as him.

I can see how you'd get flustered in a face-to-face "discussion", maybe you should write down the key points so when he tries flying off-topic (making it about him instead of what you're talking about) you can drag it back to where it belongs.

Good idea! I will try that when it's starts going that way again. I do get a lot of practice for that here. : )

This post made me laugh really hard Angela. Thanks! It's so true. A lot of times when my DH is acting like a certifiable nimrod, 3 days later he's come around and claiming my opinions as his own. I'm glad we have this site too!!

And regarding your quote Grey: Did I mention I have a strong ego too? >;D

I have had many a strong woman tell me they don't know how I put up with my guy...he's so bullheaded. It's only because I'm such a wishy-washy, nonconfrontational, easy-going Libra that we're even together. (Which makes it all the more ironic to me that parents have a hard time with my radical opinions here, but I guess I do have a fiery streak in there somewhere).

Our relationship is similar, but opposite: I'm the bull-headed one, while my guy is a Libra. Unfortunately for him, I'm a bull-headed Gemini, which provides some jovial fun for me in trampoline-bouncing from one side to the other on the scale he tries so hard to keep balanced. I don't mean to.

Oh! I'm jealous. If only I'd found a Libra man. They must be wonderful.