BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Wondering if I should keep doing MNK

I just want to vent a little here.

I am getting so many complaints about this forum I am starting to wonder if I shouldn't consider leaving Married No Kids.

I have just experienced a death in the family, which has made me start to look at my life a little differently. I'm starting to question my priorities, and how I choose to spend my spare time.

As most of you know, this is a volunteer job for me. I have a full time job (which is 40 hours PLUS most weeks), and I am a freelance writer and graphic designer. AND I have a husband, two cats, good friends, and hobbies that all deserve a chunk of my time.

I used to enjoy doing this site so much. Now I feel like all I am doing is fielding complaints.

I haven't been writing an article every week like I'm supposed to. Not only can't I seem to find the time in my already tight schedule, but I am having trouble coming up with a fresh look at the topic of not having kids. How many different ways can I talk about this?

What makes me keep hanging on to this site????

I am sorry to air all of this here, but I just wanted you all to know. I have gone to bat for you over and over again. I try to diffuse things before they start, but seriously? You all post so much in here I feel like I can't even BEGIN to keep on top of it! Then I end up with complaints about things I don't even know about it.

I am just wondering about my future in all the things I have gotten myself involved in. I think I might be trying to do too much. Maybe I need to give something up. And maybe that something is Married No Kids.

I don't really want to. But I am considering all my options. I am just so tired of all the bickering. Really I am. It is so draining. And I'm not sure it's worth it anymore.

Kim Kenney
MNK Editor

Hi Kim,

I'm so sorry you feel this way. In the short time I've been here, I've enjoyed reading your posts and articles very much. I'm an unpaid forum moderator (on another site) and I totally understand how hard it is to fit it into a busy life. Whatever you decide, I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate the hard work you do here.

Thanks so much,
another Kim

Sorry to hear about your family, that's always difficult.

As for this place being busy, I can sympathize too, I'm a mod at another forum and that place can get crazy, and I'm not even supposed to write anything! Is there any way you could have a co-moderator? That helped me quite a bit at the other forum I mod at.

Hi Kim...I am sorry to hear you feel this way, but can understand. You've written great articles, and I appreciate all of the work you do here.

I am sorry to hear about your family...death is a very tragic thing to face and I know it must be very difficult. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best.

Kim,

I am sorry to hear of your loss.

Maybe you could just take a short sabbatical and let some guest authors step in for awhile? Give yourself time to grieve and breathe.

Also, I look at your forum (one of the biggest here) as a huge family supporting each other. And it is a family that feels comfortable and safe; and that is why people feel like they can disagree and state their opinions here. You are always a little more blunt with your "family" than with anyone else.

So I just think this goes to prove that you have done a wonderful job with the MNK site, and that it would be a terrible loss for you to quit.

Kim - you have to do what you have to do. You have done a wonderful job here!! I think I talk more on this forum than I do on my own.

But - I have been a widow, lost both parents and had a cancer scare with my sister. In each case - you do re-evaluate your own life.

I also understand about being a volunteer here, when other things need to be done in your life. With or without kids, life still tugs at you from all different angles.

Complaints? From whom? People WITH kids???

No matter what you decide - I, for one, will be in your corner.

I'm curious about where the complaints are coming from, too. This site is pretty respectful as far as childfree sites go, from what I've seen on other childfree sites. Sure, we come here to vent, but this is one of the few places we can do that and find like-minded people and hopefully not face retaliation, at least if people are respecting the intent of the forum. This is one of my favorite websites to come to and read and post with like-minded people.

I realize it must be time-consuming to keep track of everything going on here, and to try to write the weekly article. Kim, if you need help, please do ask. I think you'll find plenty of willing helpers from those of us who really do appreciate the forum.

Cindy

And by the way, I have discovered two local friends who I have met in person through this site, so it has been very rewarding for me.

Cindy

Kim: I'm so sorry that you have been going through a hard time recently. I love this forum, and it has helped me so much to have an outlet that supports me as a childfree person, and also a place to have interesting discussion. I really appreciate everything you have done, but I completely understand if you decide to take a break, or to move on. You have a made difference. I know that sounds corny, but it's true!

I want to comment on the complaints.

Most of the members here are respectful and support each other with kindness.

A few though are very derogatory - which is something we do not accept anywhere in BellaOnline. If we have a Jewish forum it is wonderful if they all support each other in their Jewish faith. It is NOT ok if they start bashing Pagans, calling them names and treating them derogatorily for choosing to be pagan.

It is not something we accept in any forum, and we cannot accept it here either. If we allowed it here then we "should" allow it elsewhere too, and we will not head down that path.

I know being married without kids can be emotional - but it can be emotional to be pagan too, it can be emotional to be a democrat in a Republican household. We all still need to be civil and respectful.