BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids A maternal moment please...

Wow BillieCat! That is so cool that your therapist said that.

I would say I'm ultra-sensitive too. How many times do people have to say "You're too sensitive" before you realize it's true? And if you realize something about yourself like that, it makes sense to plan your life accordingly. To just force yourself to follow the same path as everyone else who doesn't have that level of sensitivity doesn't make sense at all.

I agree about the "I hate you" thing, and there are so many other things you deal with like that with kids. There's the "Gee mommy, your face is ugly" or "Why is your belly so saggy," or all the other cruel things kids say when they start developing opinions. Not fun. Or when they refuse to eat the dinner you cooked, etc. I have not ever looked forward to that reality or felt like it would be a blissful experience. I don't care how snuggly they are in the middle of the night when you're trying to put them back to bed, I need unbroken sleep to feel bliss of any kind!!

Anyway, I just relate to your comments so much, and am so happy to hear your therapist is on the same page.

Hi Frieda:

Yes, he is an incredible person, and he is a father - I know he is a very good father. To have him say what he has said to me in his support of CF has been so great - I even told him how much I respect that.
We should all consider ourselves "advanced" as he said - we don't give into primal urges to reproduce! We think before mating!

Even the most well-behaved and thoughtful child will say a few mean things in their lives, especially to the mothers. I don't need that in my life!

(Happy Passover to you!)

Me neither! Happy Passover to you too!

(Unfortunately, the Jew in me is having Passover guilt because my family is far away and I can't make it to their sedar : (. I might have to break down and do it myself at some point, but I never am motivated enough with just my atheist husband to share it with. I'm getting a craving for gefilte fish though, and it's sounding like a fun idea to challenge my DH with that to try!)

I know this well. My Sam does this every time we go ... poor guy HATES the vet, and he'll stick his head under my armpit or in my elbow and squeeze his eyes shut. Total case of denial!!Whereas his sister will be in the sink, up on the shelves, and sticking her face in the cupboards!

Pleased to hear your girl is better. Give her a cuddle for us.

I think that's an interesting point Billiecat...
I know it breaks my heart to see neglected, abused or unwanted kids...
Early in my career I was asked to spend the day at the Family Court (covering someone away ill) I walked into Court to hear arguments to and fro about custody - it didn't dawn on me initially...then I realized with horror, that neither parent wanted the kids...
People have said to me that criminal law is a dirty area - I disagree - Family Law can be very ugly, emotions run high and there have been many cases of verbal and physical assault of lawyers and judges working in the area.
We had a very sad case in Australia - a young mother leaves her toddler son with her boyfriend while she goes partying - the boy "disappears" and is found floating in a local dam. Poor little boy - he had no chance in life. The autopsy shows a broken arm and a fractured skull - the boyfriend is acquitted...(many have said thanks to clever defence counsel)
The "mother" has no doubt, gone on to have more kids...
I also, wonder how parents cope with terminally ill children - my SIL & BIL lost a 6 year old son with a brain stem tumour - it was a terribly sad time.
Also, parents that lose a child through abduction and murder or other violent death - to know your child's last moments were horrific...
I recall a 12 year old boy was abducted in Queensland about 4 years ago now - Daniel Morecombe - he was abducted while waiting for a bus on a busy road in broad daylight...his parents have never stopped looking, campaigning, searching...
When this boy disappeared my nephew was the same age - I remember being frozen with horror to think that something like that might happen to my nephew - that he could just disappear without trace...no closure, no funeral, no grave...awful
Daniel's mother has said that she will never stop looking - she needs to find him and say goodbye properly - it's heart breaking...
I really don't know how people cope with the horror and grief...

Billiecat,
What a great therapist. I must say, I feel very much like you. As freida said, how many times do you have to be told "you're too emotional" or even "don't take it personally" for it to sink in. Having kids would rip my heart out. There's a quote that says something about having children like being little bits of your heart walking around outside your body and that rings true with me. If I feel that way about my pets, I'd probably feel doubly that way about my child.

Deborah,
What awful, awful things! How do people handle those types of situations ona daily basis? Bless them for doing the work to help the kids, but I couldn't do it.