BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Young Mothers!!!

So I got a job at my gym, at the Spa...which the gym is HUGE and has a Day Care, Spa, a Grill..it is just huge. Anyway, I work in the Spa and they hire many younger girls to answer the phone, work the front desk of the gym, the day care...etc. Anyway, all the young girls have kids. Not just some of them...all of them. One girl was saying that when she was graduating that there were girls pregnant graduating. I don't get it. I can't imagine having a child much less having children at 17 yrs, 18 yrs...some of them have "waited" or had them at 20yrs. but sh*t that is too young. Needless to say, some of them married the guys and are now divorced..They are all struggling and have like two/three jobs. One of the girls lives with a roommate who has two kids and she is 22yrs. She was causally talking and said her brother came to visit with his kid and his new girlfriend and her kid. WTF!!!

That's sad, but not surprising. It's unfortunate how many people have kids without really thinking of the impact it will have, not only on their lives, but the life/lives of their child/ren. When you grow up in that kind of environment, you don't question it. There were so many girls in my high school who were pregnant. Even some of the cheerleaders! Can you believe it??!!!
When I was a freshman in college, I reconnected with a girl who I was really good friends with in grade school and the first thing she asked me was "How many kids do you have?" Not "do you have kids" but "how many". I was 19 at the time.
BTW, she had two at the time. I have since lost touch with her again so I don't know if she went on to have more, but it wouldn't surprise me if she did.

Birth control, birth control, birth control. It's a different world today, and 20, 18 is just too young. My parents had us in their early 20s, and their friends all had kids around that time, too. But they took it seriously. I know the variety you are talking about are probably not taking it seriously. They are so clueless, and don't even know who they are yet. And they just completely limited their options for the REST of their lives. What a tragedy.

Wow, what a waste. Idiots beget idiots, so the cycle will continue ...

Try living on an army post. Seriously, I am the ONLY one on the block that doesn't have kids. One of my neighbors is 18, has 1 kid and is pregnant again. I used to go to school with another girl who is married to a soldier and she was 25 and had 4 kids. And yet, I was the one that got a lecture from my doctor when I told her I didn't want children and wanted and IUD. We're so horrible because my husband is 33 and I'm 27, married 5 years and want no kids.

o_O That is just insane. In my highschool, there was ONE girl that was pregnant, I guess we had really good sex ed. classes. (actually, we did)

Nobody is teaching these girls anything. I remember in school, it must of been middle or near high school for me, one girl in the neighborhood who was older 16, got pregnant. It was hush hush, nobody really know.

One day she takes me aside while we were waiting for the bus and just starts talking about how not to ruin my life and don't make a stupid mistake like her. I don't think she lived with her mother. But she had a reality check.

These kids today think it is all wonderful, and love drama like Britney Spears, I think they are all living in lala land. Four kids by 25 is insane.

FroggyMoo you cracked me up, "how many kids do you have". At 19 the answer should be none.

When I got married it was, I will wait until I'm good and ready, and I've spent some quality time with my husband...who was separated from me all those five years at college LOL. Had a lot of catching up to do. I hope I teach my girls as good as my mother taught me.

Okay -- you want to hear something REALLY sad? Years ago, while I was going through infertility issues, as was a neighbor of mine, my neighbor told me a story that -- well, let's say 16 would be far better. She is a nurse, and was working in the hospital at the prenatal ward. She said there were two girls in there, both 13, with problem pregnancies. In both cases, they were having their SECOND child. Mama was going to raise the grandbabies, ya see, and they didn't see anything wrong with this.

Add to that, the fact that they were non-compliant with their medical advice, putting both their own lives as well as the lives of their babies at risk. Grrr!

Sorry - it reminds me of the line from the English TV series, The Royle Family....
The 20-something daughter tells her mother that 'Beverley Macka is turning 18 and having a birthday party down the Feathers'...the mother responds,
Will her kids be there?...
One of my cousins married at 20 and had 3 kids by 27...she's now 40 with 3 teenagers - the sad thing IMO - you've just started to live - you're finding your feet and working our what you want to do in life - a child at 20 or 22 often derails that process - I know that I developed as a person in my 20s...the process continues through life but in your 20s you're usually in 'fast forward'...I suppose I'm saying your identity matures in your 20s...
My cousin has spent 20 years raising kids and now works 2 days a week at a creche...I asked her recently what she plans to do in the future given her kids are almost grown - she just plans to continue at the Creche - personally, I don't believe she ever got a chance to 'find herself'...
IMO it's unwise to have kids when you're very young...there are so many opportunities out there...I know women can 'come back' after having kids in their teens or early 20s but IMO many don't get back into the stream of education, career, travel etc...Sadly, in many cases their lives are limited over the long term...and the potential is lost.

That is SAD. She should have been taken away from her parents for having a second child at that age. The family needs counseling.