BellaOnline Forums Food and Wine Low Carb Obese Feel More Discrimination

Ruthe - it is great to hear from you! I'm so sorry for what you went through, for people making you feel less than worthy. No child should have to go through that.

I completely agree that heavy people are not lazy - they carry 100 or more pounds on their shoulders every day! There was a scene in the Biggest Loser where contestants put on a suit that brought them back to their "starting weight". So for example a 180 pound contestant might put on 120 pounds in weight to get to their initial weight of 300 pounds. They could barely move!!

If we took my boyfriend when he was 220 and put on 80 pounds of weight on him, and made him move around, then he *would* be slower and less able to do things. That kind of weight puts strain on soft connective tissues, on internal organs.

So yes I definitely agree that many heavy people are far more fit than less heavy people. You can be light and weak - you don't need muscle. But it's hard to be heavy and weak, unless you're bedridden. The sheer fact that you're carrying around that weight builds up your muscles.

The thyroid / hormone / mystery condition you talk about is a very specific one so I'll start a separate thread about that!

We're all quick to make snap judgements about people. I'm guilty of that also at times and that fact bothers me.

I do agree that obesity is an emotional disease that manifests itself physically.It is hard to help someone who has a weight problem unless they truly want to be helped.

And Ruthe, you are a survivor and beautiful not only inside but outside also.The cruelty that we receive as children is horrible and the people who do it are real bullies.

Lisa, I'm curious-I have always thought the low-carb was more satisfying because protein makes you feel fuller longer. What made your boyfriend stop? I ask because a friend lost 80 pounds on it and swears by it.

Kristen - thanks for joining into the discussion! I definitely agree that it is very easy to have a bias - and that many of us don't even realize we have it. It is so easy to say "nobody should ever be biased about anybody else" but when it comes down to actual studies, the bias is inside us. We might think we are completely color blind and gender blind and so on, but there are such subtle ways that we might be biased that we don't even realize it. So it's great to talk about it. I really appreciate people being brave to speak up about this.

I want to caveat that sometimes being overweight is *purely* physical - there are glandular problems and such that cause it even if the person eats 100% healthy from the second they are born. I started a separate thread about that. But yes, I think we can safely say that 99.9% of adults who end up overweight got there because of either poor parenting or emotional reasons.

I completely agree that heavy people ARE beautiful. I've mentioned several times in threads that I find a heavy person to have great beauty. I think heavy people should appreciate and relish their beauty. That being said, I also think it puts a great toll on the average human body to carry around 100+ pounds of excess weight and that for long term health it is better to come down into a more "natural" range.

On the "why my boyfriend stopped" that is actually a very interesting thing to discuss, so I will start a separate thread on that!

To my credit, I don't think I ever thought that because someone has more weight, they have more "bad" in them. As has been mentioned, sometimes it's from feelings of fear, or from being abused and KNOWING that food won't hurt them (except it does) or being taught to eat that way from parents who ate that way (as was the case with my neighbors, unfortunately). I find the last one almost the saddest, because it is a way of life from the moment you're born and that can be overwhelming to fight against. Parents teach their kids ethics, and manners, and religion, and everything they'll face in life first and that sticks with you. The neighbors I was talking about were twin girls, and they always had a weight problem and it's still hounding them as adults.

...Did I have a point with all this? I don't know, just that it's even more frustrating when it's someone you care about that's slowly poisoning themselves. It's almost as if they're saying "I'm not worth saving, not for me and not for you." and that hurts. If anyone treated my guy in a shoddy manner they'd get a fist to the head, but what do I do when HE is the one hurting himself? Yikes, I really wasn't trying to whine there! :P

I think in many ways it is just like depression. Someone who is in that state can feels badly about himself or herself. They might say "well I feel badly, but it doesn't matter, it only affects me." They don't think that it affects anybody else around them. But of course it does.

I agree completely that it is really sad when parents feed their children inappropriately. Children have no choice about what they eat. If they are set on a course of eating poorly, it is SO hard to change that after years and years ...

Plus the harassment of not only being overweight, but developing faster than the rest of the girls and having bigger breasts as a result. The extra fat stores up estrogen and starts that wonderful "puberty" ball rolling sooner than children who are at healthy weights.

Having battled depression (not diagnosed, but I can recognize a bull moose when it's sitting on me) makes me even more sad for people who are in bad situations like that. That feeling of hopelessness is like an even heavier weight on you.

I wasn't always overweight -- and for those who feel annoyance or whatever at seeing someone like me eat the wrong things, depending on the circumstances, I may well feel utter disgust with myself, too! But there are times it is an overwhelming compulsion, hard to describe. Not quite as strong as the compulsion to breath, but kind of up there.

And then, recent studies have shown that some of us have bugs in our guts that cause cravings for chocolate. (Yes, I'm a chocoholic. And THAT compulsion is by far the most powerful. I once tried to go cold turkey (yuck!) and not eat any chocolate. It was many years ago, and I think I lasted a week or so.

I'm trying to eat some more healthful foods to help keep the worst of the cravings away, trying to get more activity in my day -- but I have to be careful. I've a terrible history of getting into exercise, overdoing it to the point of not being able to do anything, where it takes me 10 minutes to be able to get myself out of bed (not just the "I'm too comfortable to move" motivation issue, but physical difficulty.) So I'm really hesitant to do much beyond walking. And some days, even that is tough to get out to do.

However, to get to the tread topic -- I don't THINK I've had any particular discrimination. But it's sometimes hard to tell. I have plenty of friends, who seem to recognize what a wonderful person I am ;-) But I haven't been in the workaday world in a long time -- so I am not sure how that would change whether or how much discrimination I experience.

I grew up being horribly made fun of for being overweight. The funny thing is, when I look back, compared to today's kids, I wasn't very overweight at all. Some people seem to look at people who are overweight as less than human.

I am no longer overweight, but the things people said and did to me growing up affect me to this day. Even in the workplace, in a meeting, I have witnessed a superior making fun of someone she didn't like who was heavy...in front of other people who were overweight!!!!! (Not that I think it would be okay if it was behind closed doors, but just the fact that the person didn't think anything of it was appalling to me!)

I don't know about discrimination necessarily, but abject cruelty, definitely!

I still find it difficult to not use food as a crutch, even though I know that it could put me right back in the bad situation I was in.

GreyDrakkon - you are so right - being an overweight child just creates a massive number of problems for the child which then affect his or her entire life. There's the "I'm different than everybody else" issue. There's the other kids teasing you incessantly issue. There's the "not being able to bike / hike / etc. with the others" issue. Then there are the host of health issues that often come along with it, which just add another layer of problems for the poor child to deal with.

What is really awful about all of it is that the child is completely helpless. A child can't choose what to eat!! They can only eat what is put in front of them. If they don't eat what is on their plate, they are yelled at! So the kid does what they're told, and eats the food given to them. Then the kid is the one who suffers as a result.

When I see parents putting sugar-soda into an infant's bottle, it just bothers me *so* much ...

Hi Lisa! It's good to be here!

Thank you Kristen! You have such a warm spirit!

The issue of weight is such a heated topic. I'm glad I have the support that I do, and wonderful doctors. However, there are so many overweight and obese people that do not have support or proper care. What also saddens me are the children that suffer. It rips my heart apart; because I know they are not happy. I cannot understand, how a nation that speaks about health so regularly, and has so many diets, continues to increase--at an alarmingly high rate--in the percentage of obese and overweight people? It truly boggles my mind.

There are many factors at play as to why a person may gain weight more than another. However, for the most part, a sedentary lifestyle, poor diet, and believe it or not, a poor emotional diet, an unhealthy mind--contributes to many person's battle with weight. There truly is a mind and heart connection. Once you have ruled out all the possibilities of an actual physical problem, it's time to look within.

I do know this: when I started to love me, and speak out about what was bottled up inside, things started changing. Weight is coming off. It may not be as fast as I would like; but slow and steady definitely wins this race.

I watched the biggest loser and was proud to see the changes and connections that people made. It was such an awesome thing to see. It would be lovely to see them encourage more children. Maybe they could start by putting physical education back into the schools. Why they would cut those classes is beyond me!

Once again, I've gotten a bit long-winded! Forgive me. But this is just so close to home, and in my heart.