BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids what I really think of women at work

No offense, but I would be completely freaked out if my manager even mentioned menstrual cycles. To me it's a personal matter. People have all kinds of behind the scenes health stuff going on, and I think if they need to go home early, they can discuss that with a manager on an individual basis. Women's cycles are as varied as women are - some are barely impacted, and there are women that have monthly migraines.

On the one hand, you sound like you are concerned about women, but there is a condescension in it, too, that I can't shake. Like women can't handle certain things, and I assure you they can, and want to be just as "strong" as men. I'm sure a lot of women would take advantage of this policy. I think it also depends on what type of work you are doing. Standing on one's feet for hours in retail with bad cramps would be brutal. With that said, you'd be surprised what advil can do for a person.

My Mom's friends used to have the monthly migraines, and had to get shots to make the pain go away. Someone like that could talk to a manager about it if she needed to, and I'm sure could get a doctor's note or whatever if she needed to miss work.

Ironically, I think this goes back to the original topic - not assuming. You can't assume b/c someone is of childbearing age that they will have kids, or that they will leave the workplace. You also can't assume every woman has menstrual "issues." I think it's a little weird that you are giving it so much weight and thought.

Times have changed I guess, because if I had a manager inquire about that it would be a very big red flag that they were crossing a line into way personal territory. I also agree with what you said about some women would take advantage of that. It reminds of junior high PE classes...a few of the girls had started their periods, but not everyone, and they would complain about cramps and be allowed to sit out on the exercise. I was a bit skeptical about the whole thing even back then, and in retrospect, I see I was probably right, because now they say exercise can help with cramps. But I have this memory of a group of girls sitting in a little cluster under a tree while everyone else was running around track, and they seemed very smug about their terrible cramps.

I completely agree with this man's article. It's only been about a year for me that I've been more on the CF side of the fence, and I've noticed it is something I feel compelled to share with people who are influential in my career. Instinctively I've felt that it would help to let it be known I'm not planning to have kids, and the reactions I've gotten have confirmed that. So, I'd definitely find some way to subtley squeeze in that info in an interview situation.

It's ironic, the last regular job I had, it was a small company, and the owner was really into babies, and her daughter who also worked there was very into babies too. They became friends of mine, and they (especially the daughter who is in her 30's) would encourage me to have kids all the time. They would say, "You should take advantage of the benefits and maternity leave before quitting to go back to freelance." (I was freelance before working there, and they were a client who hired me as an employee, but I was very vocal from the start about liking my independence).

That's interesting Frieda! That's great news... I will do that in the future. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I look younger than I am. And I may have to work around this for a little while yet. It's weird, because it sounds like it's too personal to mention on an interview, but then you want to make it clear that you are really committed to your career. And women that do have kids that actually care about their careers should make it clear, too, that although they have kids, their career is very important and that the two won't intersect (barring emergencies.) We all know that some women handle that much better than others.

The world is so complicated now! We could all end up in a situation where we are caring for our parents, or even our spouse, and need to leave early on occasion. But women are so often the nurturers, that we end up taking care of people, young or old.