OK this is my chance to point out that adopting kids - as virtuous as it is made out to be - is NOT without its pitfalls.
Now, my case and my brother's is probably VERY different as it was in the days of "closed" adoptions, when those who were adopted didn't find out who their birth parents were till they were older.
My brother and I are both adopted from different families. We were babies when we were adopted.
I turned out fine although it annoys me that I don't know who my birth father is and probably never will.
My birth mother, however, had a break down after giving me up for adoption. Went through depression and worse, even tried to kill herself several times. Now, it's probably true that her not telling ANYONE she was adopting out is the reason WHY, even in today's society there are girls and women I'm sure who don't want their family and friends to know.
Now my brother
became an alcoholic and a drug user for several years now he's over that but he's a bit of a religious fanatic.
What my mum and dad (adoptive ones) were NOT told was that both my brother's biological parents were HEAVY drinkers.
So it's possible that he got the alcoholic gene from them.
It's also possible that he found it hard to deal with being adopted.
I also wonder whether some agencies even today might hide vital bits of information (like the mum and dad were heavy drinkers)
to try to get certain kids adopted out that might not be otherwise.
I have met other guys who were adopted that are VERY bitter about being "given up" by their birth parents or at the very least unsure about their identities and feeling VERY confused and unsure of themselves. But some were VERY bitter and hurt.
So it's not always a perfect solution, as some people seem to think adoption is.
I'd just like to point that out.
And after what my family and I went through with my brother, I'd prefer to raise my own kids not someone else's.
Even then of course there are still gaps, because of my mystery birth father.
But being that I'm childfree, I've chosen to have NO kids either be adoption OR by the more traditional way.
