BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Icky Thoughts

It certainly weeds out the ones not worth wasting time on.

Hiya, TheBlonde.

I've only read your initial post without going through the replies, which is rare for me.

Based on your initial post, I'll take a wild stab at your age, and I'll aim my bullseye at mid-to-late twenties. This is not a judgement; quite the opposite -- it's a stab back on my own mid-twenties, because your sentiments reflect where I was then.

Someone might suggest a chill pill to soothe your thought process -- with the whole SO fear factor, letting the baby shower and surrounding [censored] get to you. I, however, admire how much you're letting yourself soak all this up in the moment and how much you're allowing it force you to think. What's awesome is that you're not just thinking about it, you're regurgitating it in discussion -- how therapeutic.

My God, I was a mess of emotion and thought from 28 to 33 regarding the possibility/desire to have a baby; dealing with my best girlfriends having babies while I wasn't; feeling like I might be missing out in so many ways, including questioning WHY I wasn't feeling maternal...so much. Don't fear it, embrace it, journal it...I promise you, it's nothing more than a rite of passage.

If you didn't go through these confusing, frustrating emotions and thoughts, you wouldn't be a part of the descendents of Eve.

We're here for ya, lady.

Dear The Blonde

I just wanted to say you are not alone. I have been having very similar icky thoughts lately (read my recent "I thnk I have regressed - need bolstering" post. I go into that icky place where you are semi-regularly, and I tell you, the wise advice from this forum is what gets me through.

I get jealous too and feel left out, even though I don't want what the people I am jealous of are having. But every new person that follows the "baby path" makes me feel that little bit more lonely and isolated, and that little bit less supported.

I have found that what I need to create is that strength inside myself to be content with what I have and proud to be different.

Please know these feelings are normal and understood.

Also...(was just in the kitchen getting a drink and I thought of this)...

I find it helps when I am in an "everyone wants babies" funk, to try to mentally rise to another plane. For example, reading a book about an inspiring real-life woman (sports woman, political leader, even Mother Teresa) whose achievements weren't about children, or simply watching a foreign or independent film on DVD. Meeting up for coffee with a woman who inspires you. Searching online for info about other things in life. Reading a newspaper. Reading poetry. Signing up for a class in literature, or language or politics or whatever interests you. Plan a travel adventure, even a small one. Have a stylish dinner party. Go to a play or an orchestra concert. Get around people who aren't obsessing about children, and remind yourself of all that is out there in the world that needs you.