My fiance works long hours. He pulls about 45-50 hours per week between his office and the offices of his clients, and then he works from home for at least a couple of hours per day (sometimes 6+ hours on a weekend day). From day one of our co-habitation, over five years ago, we have tried to keep a balance between work hours and housework. For example, during the first few years after my injury, I only worked about 20 hours per week. During that same era, his work week was about 60 hours. I did about 60-75% of the housework, and he picked up the rest.
But recently, specifically since I changed jobs in the fall, his total average work hours (which dipped under 50 for a while), have been creeping up at the same time mine have. (I'm back up to nearly full-time hours, but I come home with nothing but a desperate urge to sit down and prop my leg up.) So no one is picking up the slack my extra hours are leaving. In fact, My percentage has gotten awfully close to triple digits. He's always either too tired when he gets home or still working when he gets here. He's gotten to the point where he has to be ASKED to do things. It grates on me BADLY.
We talked about it the other day. He was less defensive than he has been in the past, when I felt like I was doing more than my 60 to 75. I'm not sure what changed. Maybe he finally pulled his head out of his job long enough to realize that not only am I keeping our household in running order all by myself, I'm also working my [censored] off elsewhere... and trying to find the time to do some writing. (Golly gee, I wonder why she's tired all the time! Duh!) He's going to try to cut back on his "working from home" hours and try to help me out some. It's a nice thought, but I'm not overly optimistic.
We've both been saying things like "when my work hours settle down some" for months now, with no change. I'm getting cranky and resentful about the housework thing, but right now, despite my emotional response, I know logically he could be doing a little more, but not much. He's just too busy. And so am I.
Meanwhile, I've been bribing the cat so she doesn't walk out on me for never being home. In the last few weeks, she's gotten new toys, new types of treats, new food to try, and something new to scratch on. There's a Petsmart near my workplace. When I'm not eating or writing on my lunch hour, I'm buying Beastie bribes. I feel guilty about not being home with her more. And when I am home, I feel guilty about often being too tired to play with her.
Can you imagine bringing an infant into this mess? We'll have a difficult enough time if we end up with a grade schooler in the house! We're overwhelmed as it is.
Sorry to go on so long. These are the ramblings of someone who volunteered for an evening shift before realizing she had to be back at work the next morning. Go me. *yawn* I have to be up in just over five hours...And the cat just started mewing with a ball in her mouth. I guess it's play time...
