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Joined: Feb 2007
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Shark
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I must admit, I'm really lucky. Hubby does heaps around the house and actually seems to enjoy cleaning. We've kind of split tasks so that he does the cleaning while I take care of the paperwork side of things ie paying bills, budgets, etc. He'll do the washing, I'll iron. We both cook and wash up.


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Koala
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Originally Posted By: GreyDrakkon
Hah! What you seriously should do is put a sheet of paper on the fridge with blank spaces under each day of the week. Each time one of you does a chore, write it in under that day, that way you can physically SEE who has done what, and how often. I bet that would wake him up to seeing exactly how little he does compared to you!


Been there, done that. You should have seen the fireworks. "You are trying to make me look bad! You think you're better than me! I don't believe in lists!"

He also refused to put his initials in the box when he did something (I knew he did it, so he thought it was childish. Well ... who do you have to do stuff like this for? Hmm?"

He keeps saying "why can't you give me the benefit of the doubt?" Well, because I DO, and when I do, I am only proven that I'm right. I have asked him 100000 times to put his old toilet paper rolls in the recycling, and I found ANOTHER one, that's probably the 10th in a row, in his garbage can. How many chances should he get before I make a comment?

Let me just say that this is probably the ONLY subject my husband gets mad about. Most of the time you can't ruffle his feathers. But god forbid I suggest that he's not cleaning enough, or not doing things correctly.

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Gecko
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My DH will go to a cupboard and then walk away leaving the door open??
It always amazes me - it's like his brain dismisses the function as soon as he has what he wants...
I'm pleased our fridge beeps when the door is left ajar - saves me saying anything...
I actually say very little these days....
What's the point? He's been leaving cupboard doors open for as long as I can remember - but it still confuses me...
Still if that is his worst crime, then I'm pretty lucky - as long as I don't walk into a cupboard door!

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Gecko
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Ingilbert, all I can say is you are far more forgiving than I, because I would have had your hubby by the throat and SHAKEN him. >;/

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Shark
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Yes..Yes...I knew when I married my DH that he was a work-a-holic. He knew I was CFBC and he would have kidsif I would. But I am so..so...happy that I didn't change my mind or something b/c I would be so stuck with the kid. Some women would maybe not mind b/c they could stay home and take care of their kids and just hang...but NOT FOR ME and I would hate my life!!! The thought of constantly dealing with a child put me in crazy land. I am so happy to be childfree and I love my life.


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Parakeet
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My fiance works long hours. He pulls about 45-50 hours per week between his office and the offices of his clients, and then he works from home for at least a couple of hours per day (sometimes 6+ hours on a weekend day). From day one of our co-habitation, over five years ago, we have tried to keep a balance between work hours and housework. For example, during the first few years after my injury, I only worked about 20 hours per week. During that same era, his work week was about 60 hours. I did about 60-75% of the housework, and he picked up the rest.

But recently, specifically since I changed jobs in the fall, his total average work hours (which dipped under 50 for a while), have been creeping up at the same time mine have. (I'm back up to nearly full-time hours, but I come home with nothing but a desperate urge to sit down and prop my leg up.) So no one is picking up the slack my extra hours are leaving. In fact, My percentage has gotten awfully close to triple digits. He's always either too tired when he gets home or still working when he gets here. He's gotten to the point where he has to be ASKED to do things. It grates on me BADLY.

We talked about it the other day. He was less defensive than he has been in the past, when I felt like I was doing more than my 60 to 75. I'm not sure what changed. Maybe he finally pulled his head out of his job long enough to realize that not only am I keeping our household in running order all by myself, I'm also working my [censored] off elsewhere... and trying to find the time to do some writing. (Golly gee, I wonder why she's tired all the time! Duh!) He's going to try to cut back on his "working from home" hours and try to help me out some. It's a nice thought, but I'm not overly optimistic.

We've both been saying things like "when my work hours settle down some" for months now, with no change. I'm getting cranky and resentful about the housework thing, but right now, despite my emotional response, I know logically he could be doing a little more, but not much. He's just too busy. And so am I.

Meanwhile, I've been bribing the cat so she doesn't walk out on me for never being home. In the last few weeks, she's gotten new toys, new types of treats, new food to try, and something new to scratch on. There's a Petsmart near my workplace. When I'm not eating or writing on my lunch hour, I'm buying Beastie bribes. I feel guilty about not being home with her more. And when I am home, I feel guilty about often being too tired to play with her.

Can you imagine bringing an infant into this mess? We'll have a difficult enough time if we end up with a grade schooler in the house! We're overwhelmed as it is.

Sorry to go on so long. These are the ramblings of someone who volunteered for an evening shift before realizing she had to be back at work the next morning. Go me. *yawn* I have to be up in just over five hours...And the cat just started mewing with a ball in her mouth. I guess it's play time...


Happily Living The Childfree Life!
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Shark
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Originally Posted By: Deborah49
My DH will go to a cupboard and then walk away leaving the door open??


ha ha! My DH does this too! It drives me batty. The other thing like this he does is when he puts the blinds down, he doesn't make sure they are straight at the bottom, or if one of the blades gets stuck and is open he doesn't fix it...it looks so messy to me I can't stand it!!!

Still, I agree with you, these are total minor things and he does do a lot of stuff around the house including dishes and pretty much all the outside stuff. So I chide him about these little things but in the big picture it's not that bad.


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Parakeet
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I have a confession to make. I do that kind of stuff as well. In fact, she can very often tell where I've been because I inadvertently leave a trail of evidence that I had been there. It is humorously called my "trail of crumbs." smile

In the grand scheme of things, if that is all that DW has to worry about, she will take that easily over having a husband who is high maintenance, a mental case, or anything really, truly bad. smile

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Shark
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Originally Posted By: KinderFrei
Originally Posted By: Deborah49
My DH will go to a cupboard and then walk away leaving the door open??


ha ha! My DH does this too! It drives me batty.


I'm totally guilty of this. blush

My only defense is that after I'm done cooking I will go around and close them. I usually just leave them open because I am multi-tasking in the kitchen.

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Amoeba
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After once bending down to pick something up, then standing up and whacking my head full on under an open cupboard door, I've learnt to keep them shut! Ouch!

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