BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Do You Speak Your Mind to Friends Who Are Parents?

This has always been Lynette. I guess you've just forgotten in the last two weeks what a [censored] I am.

You frequently mask the [censored] under a veil of politeness and understanding. And honestly, I don't think you've ever let yourself loose here quite as much or as often as you have in the last week or so. The bitchiness has been very concentrated of late. Again, I'm enjoying it. It's just another layer to me feeling less alone by being a member of this forum. Like minded people and a couple fellow bitches. This is a happy, comfy place for me.

Well maybe I am tired of having to be polite. There are a lot of things I'd like to say in other areas of my life, but I have to keep my mouth shut. I have been journaling instead, and this site is kind of like journaling, too.

Hi Angela,

I think that it is wonderful that you have ability to be able to say these things out loud.

I haven't ever said anything but I'm sure there are times when friend's could read my face. However I know it isn't worth saying anything because I will get the "you aren't a parent, you don't know" comments.

I am however very lucky that the two children DH and I spend a lot of time with are really lovely little girls. We are their God parent's. It is good if they have done something that was naughty or out of line it is okay with their parents if we pull them up on it. We don't hand out consequences or discipline, we leave that to their parents. To be honest, if they weren't the lovely, polite, well mannered and happy kids that they were we wouldn't spend time with them.

We have another child who is in our lives who is out spoken, rude, demanding and is in the middle of the conversation (in person or on the phone it doesn't matter) and I really shy away from this friend's company as I know I could never say anything.

Thanks for your feedback and encouragement. I know I was ANNOYED that evening. I didn't even go into this friend about why once I realized she was upset about my comment.

I'm so glad I found this forum... very difficult to discuss with anyone as all o fmy friends have kids, but I've never had this happen before. REalize I should have kept my mouth shut and just done what others did--- let the friendship wilt. Problem is my husband and hers are how the freindship started in the first place and I've already been avoiding any outings with them since this incident (in Oct. 2007) because of that.

They never say No to their 2.5 year old and he takes full advantage. I truly do not blame their child, of course, did not say ANY of this. Just venting. Still haven't told my hubby about the situation though, because he did warn me before about saying anything (he's much more tolerant than I am).

Lesson learned!

I know what you mean--- I feel like I always have to bite my tongue and not rock the boat. At least we can get it out here.

Your comments made me realize I should get back to journalling too so maybe this stuff doesn't bother me so much. Thanks for the reminder!

And I always wanted kids, but didn't get married til late 30's and it didn't happen. While I'm disappointed, that's the choice we made. But what I really hate is parent's that have so much guilt about working all day that they don't even teach their kids basic manners.

This is actually a big issue for me too. I generally don't say anything, because I hate confrontation, and know it won't go over well. "What do I know?" as you say (since we don't have kids).

My husband is a lot more outspoken, and has gotten into some trouble with his sisters over it. He has a hard time not speaking his truth when he sees them feed their kids junk food 3 meals a day, and let the TV raise their kids. He bites his tongue a lot, but sometimes it comes out.

One time we were having a family get together in honor of a visiting uncle from far away. Our niece wanted to turn on the TV, and my DH said, "No. We are not turning on the TV." His sister glared at him, and they have pulled away from us for that and other of his transgressions. Sigh.

He has other sisters luckily whose children don't watch TV constantly, and for some reason we can relate to them a lot better. It's actually like talking with a human.

I don't know what is best, but certainly there is a line that is crossed where you have to say something if the parents are just totally out of it.