BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Why do you WANT children?

I certainly can't go out to the movies or restaurants alone. But you'd think a grown man wouldn't feel "lonely and bored" when he has to go pick up a gallon of milk! It took him probably a year after we were married to stop whining at me, "but don't you want to go with me?" anytime I asked him to run the smallest errand. And he used to be SO shocked when I'd go to the store and not invite him along.

His sister is the SAME way. She can't go shopping alone (especially clothes shopping) because it's too lonely and boring.

I couldn't agree more!

i'm an only too and i really need my alone time even from my Dh. luckily he also likes his alone too so it works very nicely. although i like socializing and hanging out with friends if there's a week or so where i'm doing it a lot i feel like i'm "going into overdrive" and have to step back and have some time to myself.

i never minded being an only.i had other children at school or on my block to play so it never bothered me. plus i didn't mind playing by myself either. i have a cousin who has a younger brother and i remember that she always craved attention and could never even handle spending a moment by herself.

my parents didn't spoil me or spend loads of time with me either. for a majority of my childhood my parents had to care of one grandparent or another to some degree so i had to learn at an early age that life didnt' revolve around me and to share my time. i was around adults a lot too. i was esp. close to my grandmother and great-aunts on my mom's side. they were a load of fun and i really enjoyed spending a lot of time with them.

i have heard many times negative comments about only children. people saying that they want to have a sibling for their child so they're not alone. also i've had the "pity" comments from people as well. when i was in 4th grade my teacher told my mom that she never would've guessed that i was an only b/c i didn't "act" like one whatever that means. no matter if you're an only or not a lot depends on how you're raised.

indigo

Absolutely, Indigo-

My DF & I are both only children. He has made me realize the truth of the lonely only theory- children don't need siblings, they need socialization. I was raised in the country with no neighbors. I was sent to small schools and rarely had company. DF came from a large extended family and went to public schools with many classmates.

I am envious of his ease around people. It benefits him in many ways and has made him an asset for his employers. It has been a struggle for me to learn social skills that I missed out on by being isolated as a child.

How you're raised makes all the difference.