BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids We didn't have time to think about it...

DW and I had no intentions from day one, but one thing that we agree upon is that if a couple wants to wait a bit, save up, invest, so that life with children can be more affordable, etc, then more power to them! If you compare having children within the first year of a marriage vs waiting for the family economic situation to be more stable and secure, *and* the desire to have children is still strong, then good! That is being responsible.

I still have the gut feeling that having children by young couples within the first year of marriage is still done "just because it is expected." Judging from some of the mega-bingoing that married people (and the to-be-married peoples) receive, the societal expectation is still there.

I have a friend who waited 5 years to have kids. They were always in "the plan" and once they had them, she admitted everything was hard to give up because you have become more accustomed to it compared to people who have kids right away. She said the sleep deprivation/having to get up early every morning was the worst!

Maybe required practice for prospective parents is to set an alarm clock that has an alarm of a loud WWWWWAAAAAAHHHHHH that does not stop, that wakes them up at a random time between 2 am and 4 am every day for a month. If they can't survive work and play with that, then maybe the woman will turn off her uterus.

Hmmm... maybe that is the ultimate in baby shower "gag" gifts

Greydrakkon,
Hee hee!
Luckily most women probably grew cucumbers or carrots.

Heh, I guess we know what Grey does with her lonely evenings.... anyway....

A lot of this conversation is assuming that people are actually married before they have kids. There's a larger portion of the population that has the babies and then get married, sometimes for the sake of the kids alone. In this situation, there is NO planning and the kids were one accident after the other.

I think if you discuss this topic with your partner very often and in a realistic way the more you come to the point that having kids is a very hard job...and that it would be very hard to change your life in so many ways.

But I also think that many (not all) people don't even think about this question for one minute! They think that it's "normal" and expected to have kids....

...and many people just forget to use BC!!!

When everyone has been programmed from babies to want children, especially girls, it is the ones who are strong in mind and body, who think about everything, that should be congratulated. But go against the norm, whether it be by choice or by cirumstance, and you are shunned or pitied.

I'd rather be pitied and content than accepted and miserable.

Welcome!

YES, I made the 100% decision to stay CF I felt like a ton of bricks were lifted off. I don't have to sit and wonder and worry about my decision. I can now just focus on my life and continue to save and not have to worry about going into debt for children.

Yeah! My husband and I just got braces....no way we would of been able to afford that with kids; I would be to busy saving for theirs!!

Ah, so THAT would by why some religions forbid females over puberty to garden. Afraid they'll get molested by the veggies! (it's true about the garden banning, a prof. I had for "Women in Religion" was from some orthodox religion and was told she couldn't go out in the garden anymore once she got her period. That flew so well that she's now a Wiccan priestess.)

I couldn't agree more!

Welcome Absurd*bird, from one newbie to another!