BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids CF Stress??

How do you know she's single? And how do you know that she doesn't have a fabulous life, full of meaningful things and great friends?


Don't avoid men. They're not going to fall into your lap, so you have to get out there and find them. I'd say that it's just a coincidence that you've managed to attract breeders, because I think that given the choice, at least 50% of men don't care or don't want. But you do have to make sure you put it out there early - don't waste your time.

We're not all happily married - I'm still single and I lost my BF of nearly 4 years to baby rabies - but it doesn't mean that I regret it, or that I think I'm missing out on anything...

I agree with everyone--don't give up on guys yet; it seems like there are more CF guys than girls anyway and so they will totally love meeting a rare CF woman like yourself! Sounds like you just need to figure out where they are in your area

And, I will say that a few years ago I was struggling with my CF-ness too. At the time I didn't even know there was such a concept as CF! I just knew I didn't want kids and I had a lot of guilt and confusion about myself--wondering what was wrong with me that I didn't, and thinking any day now I would suddenly wake up and just know that I wanted a kid. I never went to a therapist, but that's probably because I was with my DH and since he is CF too, there wasn't any pressure from him for kids. Then finally I just decided to be who I am--there's nothing 'wrong' with not wanting kids no matter what friends/family/society says. And the more I learn about the good I'm doing the world by NOT having them, the more proud I am of my CF-ness.

I bet if you see a good therapist, they will help you talk out your thoughts and help you see yourself and your CF status in a healthy, accepting way. Then, you probably won't be as preoccupied with it, or with negative thoughts when you see pregnant women. And, maybe you'll find some hot CF guys to boot! Good luck and keep us posted

I have to share what my therapist has said about my CF decision -
"My husband and I have ADVANCED beyond the primal need for procreation."

He was actually for it despite being a father himself. I told him that I didn't want to see a woman therapist because they are too pro-child, while men will tell you the honest truth.

The therapy did a lot for me.

Thanks guys! I will keep you posted...

I never really "dated" in the traditional sense (I did a lot of chatting with people online) but women that seemed to have interesting personalities that didn't pass the test of wanting children (without me telling them MY point of view) just stayed friends. Anyone who passed this pop quiz had the chance of being seen as more than a friend. My wife passed all those tests (and others) with flying colors.