BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Too "young" to decide I'm childfree

No, you are absolutely correct - they are Eurasian badgers (the American kind look noticeably different). Something about them really resonates with me.

That would be terrifying to live in the times before Roe v. Wade. I'm sure there were so many botched abortions in that time period because of it.

People just don't understand our frame of thinking and I guess it's fair because we don't understand their way of thinking.

(Kind of offtrack but just showing how different people are) I was talking to a friend a few days ago about what would you do if... and get this. Her boyfriend and her have been together for 6 years and been sexually active for 4 years, and never once have they used birth control! And she's never been pregnant or had a scare! Somebody must be infertile I guess. But I asked her if she wanted to get pregnant or what and she says, "Oh God no! I don't want kids now!" I'm just floored by this. She isn't being responsible at all and I just can't fathom putting your body in a gamble like that. Of course, she's totally against abortion in every shape and form so if she gets preggers, she's really screwed. Just thought I should share that!

Manatee. That's pretty awesome! Are they pets or what?

I can't fathom what your friend is thinking (or, more appropriately, not thinking). I am paranoid about an accidental pregnancy and don't think I could ever enjoy sex if I wasn't taking precautions. In fact, my worst nightmare is finding out that I'm pregnant too late to take the necessary measures - I know it's rare, but the idea terrifies me.



No, they live in the wild, unless they are unlucky enough to need human care, like the orphaned baby badgers in my avatar.

Llyn...so nice to have you on board...I thought I was the oldest member of the Board at nearly 50...its great to have a spread of ages and life experiences.
You mention the days when women didn't get job promotions because they might get pregnant...etc.
One of my colleagues is 65 years old - she remembers it being difficult for female law graduates to get articles - you must do a 12 month clerkship before you can practise as a lawyer...she said one "high profile" firm asked a female graduate whether she would consider sterilization - they were making a big investment in her and didn't want their time and money thrown away...
I've actually heard this story from several reliable sources over the years...it happened in 1960 or thereabouts.
Also, many of us would remember people saying that it's pointless putting girls through university courses as, they would only end up married with babies - might as well give those places to men who were there for the long haul. The family money was often reserved to educate the sons - the daughters were just married off...
We've come a long way - but there is still plenty of work to be done...

You know, you keep hearing about how girls are catching up to boys academically. In my experience, the girls do better than the boys in high school! I mean, the boys were more concerned about partying and football (except for a few, but they were considered geeks and losers for caring about school.) The girls in my classes, in general (I was in honors classes) were more interested in class than the boys! Yes, even in honors. There weren't any ditzy girls in honors, though.

Also, we had more girls in the top 10 than boys, though I don't remember the exact amount of each, I just remember when the top 10 list came out, I was .... surprised is not the word ... happy? that there were more girls.

So I honestly have never understood the whole "boys do better than girls at school" thing. I understand that's changing now, with girls excelling at math and science (now they're worried about what's wrong with the boys?)

Of course, with me being a guy, and a geek as well, I'm glad that some of the girls turned out to be geeks. The only way a woman would really understand the geekiness of a guy is for her to have some geeky qualities, too, IMHO. DW was a stereo nerd way back when, so I think that qualifies as enough of a geekiness factor

And...last time I checked, I graduated in 85. Back then, geeks were looked down upon. Now we control the world of the non-geeks. Sounds like sweet revenge to me. Geeks of the world, unite!

A colleague who I was working with was in a meeting where a discussion came up about my fees (she told me about it later). People were complaining because they thought my rate was too high.

My rate is actually pretty low compared to the going rate for the kind of work I do, which I've been told many times by people who know more, and have learned that from research. The people in this discussion were employees whose hourly wage is a lot lower than a typical freelancer (but includes medical, retirement, and stability). These people also don't have too experience with hiring consultants.

Anyway, the colleague who claimed she was fighting for my side, told them, "She's the breadwinner for her family." Apparently that affected the decision to go along with my rate for the time being.

I know she was trying to help me, but to me it was rather insulting. Maybe I took it wrong, but I felt that it was none of their business that my income is higher than my husbands, and that reasoning shouldn't even be a part of it. It's the same thing as saying it's okay to pay a man more because he's supporting children and a SAHM. It's not fair to women, or singles.

This colleague knows some things about me, but she really doesn't have an understanding of my husband and I's entire financial picture, and it bothers me that she would assume that she does, and bring it up in meetings. Still irks me.

In that situation, I'd feel much better letting them get other bids, and even work with someone else, to find out my value for themselves, based on quality of work. I've used that tactic and they usually end up coming back around, and appreciate me a lot more.

There's a lot of angst about the fact that boys don't do as well in school as girls. It used to be that girls were better just through primary years, and that boys were better when they got to junior high and high school, but I don't think that's the case now.

I read an interesting article a while ago where a guy was advocating not starting boys in a classroom environment until the age of 7, rather than 5, to give them more time to mature. He also claimed that the curriculum these days is being biased towards girls and the different way in which they study and work, and your average boy is being disadvantaged. Made for interesting reading - just one more thing I'm glad I never have to deal with. Finding out your son and heir really is a moron must be rather depressing :-)

Hi Meam! This bingo really does suck - I hate it too.

I have heard that one for about ten years now. I am waiting to see how long it will take for people to realise that I'm not changing my mind...

I would strongly recommend venting your anger with supportive people, to release it. You might want to think of some quick replies to shoot down stupid bingoes if you want.

Unfortunately, that condescending BS about how you aren't old enough to know whether you'll have kids doesn't end anytime soon. I'm 28 and I still get "you're young, just wait."

Yeah, just wait, suckers.