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This is OT, but anyway ...

My mom is retiring from teaching in June. She calls me every day as it is, which aggravates me to no end. Today she gleefully exclaimed, "And after I retire, I can spend as much time with you as I want! We'll go out to lunch all the time and just chat, chat, chat!"

Dear lord. How will I survive this!?! :-)

Sounds like your mom needs a hobby! Yikes! My mom is retired (still married to my also-retired dad) and even though we live in the same area, I go days without hearing from them sometimes! They're not ones to just call for no reason, unless we haven't talked in several days, then they might call just to check in and see how things are going.

Cindy

I'd start investigating local clubs/volunteer activities that she could be involved in. Failing that, I'd start having problems with your phone connection that seem to take days to fix.

Yikes! Sounds like you'll have to set some boundaries...that or move 10 hours away like I did. Works like a charm

Definitely find her a hobby!

My sister's MIL joined the "Red Hat Society", I think it's called and she has a blast with all of these other retired women. They do all sorts of stuff. Gardening outings, wine tours, reading groups, lunches, high teas, antique shopping, gambling....whatever the group wants to do.

Oh, and screen your calls, and have problems with your answering machine etc.

Heh. If I saw my mom for hours every day, I think she'd soon realize that she doesn't actually want to get to know me. We get along okay because we only talk once a week.

Red Hat Society is a good suggestion. I know my mom's group does a lot of neat things together.

Encourage her to take up some hobbies, do a course or join some groups - my mother joined a gym after my father died - she loves it...
My friend paid for her mother to attend a book circle - a retirement gift - she loves it and has made lots of friends and is always busy reading the next book ready for their meetings.

My mother lifts weights, walks on the treadmill, has a coffee with some friends after their workouts - and she's getting younger and younger...
We often joke that she's stronger than all of us...when my brother was moving house he mentioned that Mum was helping...I said, "make sure she doesn't overdo it"..He said, "No, I'll just get her to move all the heavy stuff, then I'll run her home"...He was joking BUT, she is very strong. While her peers are falling to pieces, she planning her next workout routine.

Mum was never able to "do her own thing"...she married at 21 and had 5 kids - my father didn't like her being independent - he didn't want her to drive/work or pursue her interests...this was a common attitude in the 50s...your place was at home and your husband was supposed to support you financially...
Also, the last few years of my father's life he increasingly wanted to stay at home...I know Mum felt like a caged lion over those years - she wanted to enjoy herself after years of raising kids. It was her time in the sun. (she loves kids BTW)
I know she's loving this stage of her life...we meet for lunch or dinner regularly, chat on the phone and sometimes, we holiday together - last year we spent a week in Port Douglas with Mum and my older sister. Mum has travelled quite a bit over the last 10 years - she does very well on our frequent flyer points!
I would find it hard living with my mother again - we're very different people but, we really enjoy the time we spend together. She's joining me in Japan in April and is busy reading up on Japanese culture etc.
So, she has a full life - gym M,W & F, babysitting Thursday & the cinema on Tuesday...on the weekend she catches up with family.
My brother and his girlfriend threatened to derail Mum's life with unreasonable babysitting demands - as a family we were forced to intervene - it caused ill feeling but, this is Mum's time - she's raised her kids.
So, she's now an independent, active woman on a mission to experience as much of life as possible...we all say the day we call Mum and invite her to lunch and she says, "No"...we'll know something is wrong! She's the first to grab her coat and out the door!

Ak! That's terrible! Wow...talk every day?

I know someone's mom who also got into the Red Hat Society. It totally saved the daughter from insanity. I suggested it to my mom but so far she hasn't tried it. (It sounds like a drug for old women or something).

I don't know how to survive that, but don't blame you one bit for screening calls.

::shudders:: I barely talk to my guy every day, and we live together! That's a slight exaggeration. But man! My ex boyfriend's grandmother would call his house several times a day to talk about NOTHING to his mother, it drove me insane every time I was there because the freaking phone just kept ringing all day long. If I had my way, I would have said "Holy [censored] could you save it all up for a one hour call every few days instead of a one minute call every half hour?!" >_<

Run. Screaming.

And set some boundries BEFORE she retires.

I'm really fond of the word "no".

Deborah49...you have almost described my mother in a nutshell. She has been widowed for over 12 years and was also in that 50's style marriage. It took her a few years to get used to having some freedom and to discover what she wanted to do. Now she is living in a retirement community and seems to be really enjoying this stage of her life.

There are lots of recreation groups and even emeritus college programs for seniors who want to discover new things. Spending an afternoon once a week is not bad but daily would probably drive me a little nuts. I am glad that my mom has been able to get some sort of independence and has a social life outside the family.

I wish my mom would care more about me like that. She cares more about my pregnant SIL and gives her all the attention. My mom thinks I am boring and that we don't have anything in common since I don't want/have kids. How completely pathetic.

Oh, dear, lngilbert! My mom has Fridays off and feels it necessary to call every Friday. I'm always suspiciously busy. Definitely check out hobbies for her.



Hmm, Tress, this sounds eerily familiar... ;-)