BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Article recommending women should settle

I wonder whether some find the freedom overwhelming. If you are free to choose how to live your life, you must actually make some choices. If, on the other hand, you subscribe to a traditional role, those choices are ready-made for you. Not everyone wants the burden of thinking for themselves, strange and sad as that may sound to us.

Other people who presume to assume that they know what is best for me without taking the neccessary time to get to know me are obviously narrow-minded and therefore not worth me wasting my time on. I can't stand it when that happens. If she chose to simply settle then that is her decision. The title alone is enough to make me upset. She is the one that chose to act without thinking therefore she needs to deal with the results of her actions. Just because you are miserable doesn't mean that I have to be as well. Bed. Made. Lie.

I am so dumbfounded that someone could go to all the expense and time and effort to do IVF without having thought of so many obvious things. Don't they counsel women who want to have a baby alone? Working 60 hours a week on how many hours sleep a night? Good lord!

I want to be supportive of the concept when it's really well-thought out, but in this case especially it seems sooooo sad for the baby. Mom'smiserable, broke, exhausted, overworked (selfish), and now wants to date on top of everything, no dad, 60 hours a week in day care...sounds like a great childhood. What was she thinking???

You know, for the last couple of months, the thought that had been recurring to me over and over again was, 'what kind of world would this be if women stopped desperately trying to find love and just lived for themselves?' The same, of course, could be said about men, but I was focusing on my own gender.

There are so many men out there who rate women on physical attractiveness alone instead of what kind of person they are. This is a mistake and an injustice, but they'll never learn this, because it's so easy to find a woman who will accept it to achieve her own goals. So it keeps going and going and going, both sides refusing to accept the other as a full-fledge human being.

So we end up in miserable situations, and the best part is that children are involved, and scarred, grow up and live like their parents, and just keep that nasty spiral going. Those of us lucky or strong enough to be spun out can just sit by the sidelines and watch the destruction.

::clapping:: well said, Tress!

Well said. And don't forget that he's now on the hook for child support whether or not he even wanted a child. Let's not get too picky, okay girls?

Patronizing to the extreme. It's bad enough that we have to suffer this kind of condensation from some males, now other women are getting in the act?

Boy, are the feminists who fought so hard, so that we may have choices going to love this or what?

What a load of [censored]. She's going on the idea that what makes me happy MUST make everyone else happy. A lot of educated smart women know that there is a lot more to life than getting married and having kids. Which ANYONE can do without even trying.

I thought that was [censored] too. And doesn't she also say that if the woman DOESN'T say that, she's lying? I think there are many more women out there, who if they were truly 'soul-baring' would say that they never did, or don't, want to raise a family...

This whole article was such a horrible backlash to feminism and being free and independent to make your own choices. How degrading to hear, after all that so many have worked so hard for, that we can't possibly really NOT want to raise a family. urgh.

You are a scream. I just don't get why being alone is so bad.

She's lame, boring and unimaginative. I know someone casually who did this - got into her late 30s, and decided to adopt b/c it didn't look like she was going to get her child otherwise. Now, it's like her child is her husband. It's really bizarre. And she openly admits she has no free time to watch movies, for example. Okay, maybe movies aren't her thing. But I will never understand why someone would go it alone. This woman used her inheritance to adopt a child. And now she can't afford to buy a house. Duh! Too many women think with their uterus.

The way this woman talks about men in the article, it sounds like she thinks women should use men. And we get really offended when men use us in the same way. They are good for money and sperm. No wonder men are so terrified of women in the baby making age range. Women like this give us a bad name.