BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Memorializing "us"

::shakes Tress:: Put more on DA you twit! >;O

CF_GAL, I'm sorry to hear about your friend, that's never an easy thing to find out. And yeah, having the cat do the organizing might be a bit chancy.

CF_GAL, your comment about the cat is rather funny to me because my fiance and I were cracking jokes last night about the cat killing us in our sleep if we ever forget her bedtime snack and then she'd inherit everything. We joked about leaving a note on the fridge: "In case of both humans suffocating under cat-blubber, cat goes to next tenant. I dare you to try to make her leave. P.S. If you try to sell the cat's newly inherited furniture, pay your life insurance premiums first."

I know that was severely off topic, but I wanted to take the opportunity to lighten the mood. Maybe jokes about a cat murdering its owners wasn't the best way to do that, but he and I are both pretty twisted. I'm just sharing the insanity!

That is a really good point Angela. I can really relate. Sometimes I feel sort of relieved that I will have a simple story, that quietly ends with me. I often think about this when I see how the world is going - the violent crime, the lack of community, the overpopulation etc. I feel sort of glad there is not another generation carrying on behind me. I'm not expressing this very well, but what you said here made total sense to me.

I'm an only child, too, and I'm divorced. I've depressed myself a little in the past, wondering who would plan my funeral, and even who would come? Who would call my friends? I mean, my friends come from different angles of my life that aren't networked...

Then I think, why do I even care?!? I'll be dead! Why in the world would I care if someone close to me planned a beautiful funeral with a party to follow, or if my bedpan cleaner person found my stiffening corpse, threw it in the dumpster and called it a day?

Yes, I agree Angela...
We have photos and things we've bought to celebrate a special occasion or picked up on our travels.
My DH has always said its a waste spending money on fancy coffins, brass handles - he used to say, "put me in a sack and bury me at sea"...we've agreed on a plain pine coffin and cremation. He's said any hint of religion in any service and he'll get up and leave!
We attended a funeral last year for one of my DH's co-workers - he died at 41 after a game of soccer - he was getting married the following month - very sad - his girlfriend had arranged for friends and family to pen a goodbye directly onto the coffin.
A very personal touch...
My SIL's funeral helped me come to a decision - I don't want a funeral - I want a simple, private burial and the following week, I'll shout some drinks and finger food at my favourite wine bar/bistro - some photos on the wall - so, rather than crying and speeches, people chatting and remembering me in life - during happy times and funny moments.
I'm afraid there will be stuff to sort out after my death - I love antique porcelain but, most of it will go to my nephew.
I always keep paperwork up to date - Wills, Powers of Attorney, Power under the Medical Treatment Act, tax returns, insurance - makes it easier when the time comes, for the people you leave behind.
My younger sister has my Authority under the Medical Treatment Act - she has some medical knowledge...she also, knows the test, "Pour a bottle of special wine down the sink - if I don't react, its time"...
You have to give this final Authority a lot of thought, you don't want the final words you hear to be, "switch her off"...

[/quote]I'm an only child, too, and I'm divorced. I've depressed myself a little in the past, wondering who would plan my funeral, and even who would come? Who would call my friends? I mean, my friends come from different angles of my life that aren't networked...[/quote]

AngelaP...I know exactly what you mean...I too have asked myself these very same questions. My friends also all come from different points in my life. Some of them know eachother and some have never met. So, in short - I know how you feel. And it can be depressing - that's for sure. You came up with a good way to look at it though -- we'll be dead, so who cares!?!

Myrabeth -- that was a crazy story about the cat...I can see the news now -- "Cat convicted of murder. Will serve life sentence."

Ok...for some reason my "quote" function didn't work -- oops

I just scrapbooked me, dammit.

*laugh* That stupid MySpace place was once something I thought petty, but it felt really great to put up some pics and tell something about my life.

I don't have any brothers or sisters, and my folks are 67 and 72. Not much traditional home left, especially if I'm CF.

I'm not whining -- just soooo thankful to come to our site to commiserate (sp?).

With my little MySpace page, I felt so validated in the true friends I didn't think I had, but found. In that same MySpace page, I found reason to post every validation I had in myself, and it gave me reason to keep searching for more people, more experiences...

The bottom line is that no one took any pictures of me in the last five years...so when some surfaced, I wanted to share. I wanted to be validated. I wanted to be memorialized in ways I know I can't (no kids, no siblings).

Lesson learned is to cherish your friends, and continue to nurture yourself.

"I often think about this when I see how the world is going - the violent crime, the lack of community, the overpopulation etc. I feel sort of glad there is not another generation carrying on behind me."

No, I think you put it beautifully!

"Why do I care, I'll be dead?"
Also good point!
I used to think about the song I wanted for my funeral cos I don't want it to be dull and depressing but then I think what they hey? It's not even FOR ME!!

But yeah I'd still like to leave something behind. Like be in print or a tree or SOMETHING!

Then again, as far as having a kid to pass stuff on, that child might grow up learning about our two cultures, languages etc. and decide they don't care about either of them and turn out to be the biggest screw up. And it STILL aint a good enough reason to have em!