Becky raised some very good points that I really didn't express; she did a good job of it. Questioning whether my marriage(s) were "normal" is what got me into counseling and gave me the strength to do what I had to do. I might add that both my spouses were extremely controlling and manipulative. The first one was VERY emotional abusive. And believe me when I tell you that emotional scars can sometimes be harder to heal than physical ones. Case in point: When I was married to #1, if I were to go to the grocery store and I was gone longer than he thought I should be, I'd get accused of all kinds of things when I came home. Now, here it is 15 years later, I live on my own, and yet, if I go to the store now and say run into someone I haven't seen in a very long time;we get to chatting, I'll find myself glancing at my watch and all of the sudden I get that sick feeling of anxiety in my stomach that I always seemed to have when I was married to him.
Christy, don't confuse love for sympathy or "rescue". You can't rescue this man. I spent 15 years trying to rescue my 1st husband. And ultimately he chose to put a gun to his head rather than give up the one thing he loved more than me; alcohol.
The more tragic thing was that he tried to take me with him;by the grace of God, I survived.
Get into a support group of some kind if you can't afford counseling. You need some help with this decision. I know it's hard. But if you are ever to have anything; you need to get away from this man. Read Becky's posting again. Ask yourself the questions she's posed.
Good luck to you and God bless you!
