BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Vasectomy Question

My husband and I are researching our permenant birth control options and we both feel that a vasectomy is the best bet. But, since we are younger and obviously don't have (or want) children, we are afraid that we are going to run into some pretty strong opposition at the doctor's office.

Any suggestions on how to handle this? Or do we just shop around until we find a doctor willing to perform the surgery?

I don't know, have you asked yet? Technically, a vasectomy is reversable, so if you did change your mind (not saying you would, but for the delicate sensibilities of other people) it wouldn't be permanent. Then your doctors and such can go about looking forward to the extra cash when (of course) you get the reversal, and it's a win win. Then you can go back in 20 years and show everyone your slim tummy and fat checkbook and laaaaaaaugh....

That idea is very appealing. :-) Heck, I like showing off all of my free time now. In 20 years, a slim, never pregnancy-streched tummy and a fat checkbook would be cool too!

I'm not sure how old your husband is, but I talked my Doc into it when I was 24 (actually not too long ago). My primary physician wouldn't do it (probably something about being pregnant at the time...breeders) but I found another that was supportive, and got it done.

From talking around and looking, I have found that there are quite a few younger docs that are CF. Just shop around and you will find one.

Skeeter

Just like an abortion is your choice, and you would get opposition with that, too, you just have to keep your stance firm, and tell any doctor who opposes it, "Either you can recommend someone, or I'll find another referral elsewhere."

This is, of course, after you and your DH feel 100% sure.

If, in years to come, you feel you've made a mistake, a vas is reversible, and you could always opt for in-vitro.

P.S. I don't know that I'll ever date a man who hasn't had a vasectomy in the future. I'm 36, obviously don't want kids, and the pill wreaks havoc on my system, so I refuse to attempt it - or any other chemical form of BC - again. That leaves condoms, and while I don't mind them so much, I know many men think they can be a pleasure/stimulus-killer. Not to mention, they break. Let's hear it for the vas!!!

Hi chattycat!

I think there will be less problems for your husband. Most doctors have no problems with young men (age 25) who want to get a vasectomy... but I don't know how old your husband is.

Usually there is a counseling interview before the vasectomy, where you can speak about your decision and you can tell the doctor your reasons why you don't want children.

Most of the doctors I know would do that.

But it's much more difficult for young women... :-( Most of the doctors probably think that they would regret their decision!! They just can't accept other lifestyles...in german we say they can't look above the edge of their plate... :-) I don't know if there is something similar in "real" english!!! OMG *lol*

Juli

Skeeter- My husband is 26, he'll be 27 in a few months. I think we will search for a younger doc, that might be helpful.

I know that a vas is reversable, but I consider it permenant. I am so sick of dealing with the Pill and its side effects. Condoms are not reliable enough for me. When I took a 3 month break from the Pill last year, we had a bit of a condom malfunction so I had to run out and get Plan B the next day. Plan B is too expensive to be doing that all the time!

My husband and I went to the Family Planning Clinic (ha ha, to plan not to have a family!) in New Zealand, so I don't know where you are in the world, or what is available there.. We are both 26, this was a few months ago. The woman did seemed a little confused as to why we would want a vasectomy, however after reiterating to her that we had thought long and hard about this she could see how a vasectomy could be the best option for us. I should add that we do both have a bit of medical history, but as far as the medical profession is concerned there is no reason why we couldn't have children. She was careful not to say we should do it, and we haven't done it yet, but if we want to do it we just need to ring up and book in. At these clinics who do vasectomy's all the time, you have a consultation with a specialist nurse before going ahead and getting it done with a doctor. As I say I don't know what is available where you are, but in my opinion medical professionals have the right to be hesitant when it comes to young or single people seeking vasectomy, but if these people have actually given it serious thought (unlike many people that get pregnant!) then surely it's up to the individual who is wanting this done? I know it's not always that simple, but it should be. As far as I have read and heard, reversals do not have a great success rate, while plenty are reversed, some men start producing anti bodies against their own sperm apparently, so even if the tubes are all back together ok, it might not work (not sure the exact %s, but I did read them at some time and didn't think it was a great success rate).

My advise is to be clear that you have given the options serious thought, and that what you are looking for is permanent birth control and this looks like the best option. I directly asked the nurse we saw (who remember was careful not to encourage us) "So, if we are looking for a long term solution, this is our best option?" and she agreed.

Hey Amber,
I agree with the above posts by Skeeter and Angela. I had the snip done in September, 2006. Best $160 I ever spent. I am certain my next girlfriend will be very happy to be relieved of the burden of birth control. You and/or your husband are welcome to PM me with any questions you have.

Good Luck,
Mike

I have run into that problem, I actually wanted to get my tubes tied...because I'm so tired of taking birth control. I've tried pills, the patch and right now I have the Mirena and I'm not happy with any of it! The Mirena stays in for another 4yrs, but honestly I want something permanent. We've talked about my husband doing it...but I'd be willing to as well as long as I could find a doctor to do it. I made it clear that I didn't want children and still I have yet to find someone who will do this for me! It's very frustrating! I mean I don't want children and I don't want to have an abortion...but I know that I'm not going to carry a child and give it for adoption...so it angers me that my choice is to hope that my birth control works properly or I have to make a decision I don't want to.
Have any of you had this surgery? If so I'd appreciate some info on it ... I'm so tired of the side effect and mood swings from birth control!
Thanks!