Rosie,
You may want to try asking the stylist to turn the chair around so you can't see what they are doing until it's finished. This is very common, and I'm sure they will do it for you.
Many women hide behind their long hair, even when it isn't the most flattering style for them. Just think what a confidence boost a great cut and perhaps color will give you! Look at pictures of your favorite celebrities to get ideas. When you have hair as long as yours, your options are endless. I'm not a counselor, but I can say this, not taking this step will do nothing but keep you feeling insecure. You have to make a decision if you want to look and feel better about yourself, or if you want to continue with the road you are on now. Self esteem is something you need to be proactive about, so go for it!
Best of Luck!