BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids "I work for free but my work is worth $144,000/yr"

First response to Parakeet, I am sorry if you felt that I was glorifying your mother in some way. Not my intention. All people are different and all mothers are different.

To linux lady, Yes you are right. I wouldn't call it anger though, passionate, to a degree but not overwhelming.

To skeeter. Thank you for saying this above. I admit I took that remark personally not realizing that that was not your intent, so I am sorry for that. See, I admit when I'm wrong.

Heh, don't read the post for a while and look what happens!

I just hope that everyone understands that there is a different between child support and alimony. I have a problem with alimony, not child support.

I have nothing against SAHM's or working Mums - do what is right for YOU.
It does worry me that people forget that approx. 50% of marriages end in divorce - I have seen so many times over the years women struggling to get back into the workforce after spending years at home.
Suddenly, the ex has no interest in her staying at home with the kids. The long term SAHM finds herself with stale work experience, old references. no contacts and must try and make a START at 38, 45, 50 years of age.
Personally, I don't think it's wise to put yourself in a vulnerable position - man or woman.
I think couples should ensure that both parties are able to support themselves and the kids, if need be.
In the case of a SAHP encourage him/her to take refresher courses, stay in touch with work colleagues, work part time...and you facilitate it - help out and mind the kids while they study or work.
The important thing is to "keep a foot in the door"...a bit of insurance.
I know one man that complains about the money that goes to his ex every month - court hearings, arguments, bitterness...
I ALSO, remember his excitement when his twin sons were born and the decision was made that his wife should give up her career to raise the boys - now, the excitement is reserved for his girlfriend and their new baby.
Also, one of our paralegals decided to continue working part time after the birth of her daughter. (after SAH for 15 mths)
Her marriage ended last year and although, it's been a hurtful and traumatic time for her - her life has continued - she has her career, her income - she now works full time. I suspect if she had left the workforce, the transition would have been MUCH more difficult.
You just never know what is around the corner...

Where did the mommie patrolers come from? I thought this was a married no kids board? Who Let the MOMs in? Has somebody got astray and went to the mommie boards to go rub it in that we have a good life too? Fess up!!

sorry I couldnt help it we needed some humor!

Oh, but I love the drive-by's. Most of them wouldn't dare, but some of them post, and it's laughable, since it's usually strictly from emotion.

Some, though, on rare occasions, have something profound to say or something presented with a raised level of intelligence that causes me to think. Whether or not they agree with something said in here, it's the ones with carefully thought-out and well-voiced positions that I like.

I enjoy a well-articulated discussion/debate very much. It's funny how few of us CF go to the "Mommy" boards to disagree with them. Just interesting.

Anyhoo, my problem is with the SAHP that stays home after the child is at school. Can they not upgrade their skills and at least get a part-time job? To stay at home when the kids are at school 7+ hours a day is sheer laziness.

If I didn't have an issue with being financially dependant on someone, I would love to not work. Work is hard. That's why it's called "work" and not "play". They have to pay people to work because noone would do it without being paid.

Parenthood is a choice. That's why it's not a paid position. It's strictly voluntary. Volunteers don't get paid.

I agree, and I think that's why women have another child when their kids are old enough to go to school. They need to have another excuse not to work outside the home. But they hurt themselves more, because then they are out of the workforce even longer.



I was thinking about this yesterday after I went on an interview. I like working because it allows me to be independent, and I feel good about having a career, my own money, etc. But I got really upset on the interview, b/c they were telling me upfront how crazy the job and the workload is. And, you know, there's a solution to a tremendous workload - HIRE MORE PEOPLE. But companies want less people to do more now. I was really disheartened. It doesn't pay that well either. Jobs don't pay as well in Florida. So I decided, I'm not going to work myself into the ground for peanuts. What are these people thinking? Anyone else seen this trend in the working world?

[quote=AnatasiaParenthood is a choice. That's why it's not a paid position. It's strictly voluntary. Volunteers don't get paid.[/quote]

I never thought of it that way. I know there has been talk about paying women for their work in the home. I don't know if that will get off the ground. I hope not, because there are enough kids in the world. If they make it more appealing, more women will probably opt out, and we will be tripping over their kids.

Happy, that trend has been going on for quite some time now. It's the lovely result of 'trickle down economics.' That's when we give businesses big wads of cash and then they'll do better and hire more people. Of course, instead, the companies hold onto the cash and make their employees do more work. This is what happens when you have a hundred people applying for every job. It makes people less important.

Here's an idea, let's have less people! I know, I know...

But as someone who is in school and who spends a lot of time at home, I can tell you that it is tough not working and being reliant on someone else. I feel like I have no value right now. I question myself all the time. If I don't go out and try to be active I get nervous and start staying at home, depressed. If I didn't have my career goals I don't think I could make it through another day.

Tress, I know how you feel. I feel the same way. But school is work, too, and you should look at it that way. And your schooling will ultimately impact your work prospects. But I really want to find something soon. I know it will happen, but I just get nervous that all jobs are crazy now. My last job was not, and that was great. But it was a little boring. I guess there's always a trade off.

Thanks, Happy.

You know, it might not be THAT crazy. Sometimes people say a job is crazy because the last person didn't do it and complained a lot. It might be worth a try, or at least some more research.