One of my good friends just got married at 41. She's a very successful and independent career woman. She waited until she found the right guy, and he's great...but, he has three daughters from a previous marriage. They are grown now, and the youngest is almost through college. And I know she's been contributing to putting the last one through college. But they don't see them that much, and it isn't too bad - especially since they are grown.
Mike - good for you for being utterly, utterly clear. This scenario described by Happy is similar to mine - I now have a 21 year old stepson. It's OK for me, because it kind of gives me a parenting relationship of one sort without having to become a parent and that is nice for ME, because originally I wanted children and have only recently become CF by circumstance. But if I had always been staunchly CF, then I would definitely have a lot of resentments in this situation - I have certainly taken on some responsibilities of guardianship of my stepson; that can't be avoided, even though he is almost at the point of adulthood. You, with your clear feelings about being CF, would not want this situation - I can tell you that. Myrabeth - yes, I can relate - for me it was worth adapting to this scenario because of all the other ways our husband and I connect with each other.
Mike - also, I did online dating for a while, and yes, people ignore things that you say AND also randomly send messages to lots of people without really reading their profiles. So you have to be super, super savvy - as you are being now. You will definitely meet a great woman and you are doing the right thing hanging out for her. (Just hope that you don't meet her in Austria and then have to move continents...or maybe that would be really cool!)
