BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids anyone else find the holidays tedious?

Hi Freida:

It is good that we are avoiding that problem - it really takes a load off of my mind.
My husband is pro-war so there is a difference in our husbands!

I consider myself more of a Reform Jew (or now they have Reconstructionist and others); my parents are Conservative. They have separate dishes and utensils, and of course two more sets on Passover. My husband and I do not do that - there aren't many non-Jews who would do that and this day and age it is very difficult - even harder to keep Kosher. If I had a child, I know my parents would definately try to enforce the separate dishes and the types of food, no meat/dairy, etc. That would put a huge strain on our marriage and I don't want to raise a child in any conflict that I can prevent!
It is hard enough for in-laws to get along but when a child is involved, it is more serious!
That is only one reason for me to be CF but it is still important!

Sorry, I have Jewish friends who don't practice ... what is the separate dishes and utensils?

Ha ha, this sounds like something I could write. You are not weird! I think it might have something to do with my whole awkwardness and difficulty relating to kids and the whole kid-centered Xmas. Oohh! Aaah! Let's watch the baby rip the paper, then let's cater to his every wish and snap his picture every 5 seconds. I just get bored and claustrophobic, like I have to get outside for some fresh air and a walk.

I LOVE the holidays with my DH and my IMMEDIATE family (mom, dad, sisters). It's the best thing all year!

BUT-- the inlaws and the other relation, I, like you, do not have a darn thing in common with them and find everything so superficial and meaningless. I PUT ON THE HAPPY FACE, and try to relate, try to make conversation, and do a pretty darn good job at it. But it is exhausting!

My CF status further complicates the issue, because I get this vibe from the in-laws that I am not a good little wife because I am not popping the babies out. That's what they do, and I think they probably expect it of me -- which explains why they blatantly ignore me. that's hard, because then I am left to be the "nice girl" who smiles, and tries to force a conversation just to show them that although I am CF, I just might have something in common with them (doubtful, but I put on a happy face anyway).

I will no doubt have several alarming and probably very entertaining stories to share during and after the holidays.

I know of a few folks who can help you through those uncomfortable times. You might seek out Mr. Carlo Rossi, Mr. Johnnie Walker, or Mr. Jack Daniels a short while before your next visit. They LOVE holidays with the in-laws.

Angela, I was just thinking the same thing!! My DH's family is ALWAYS much easier to tolerate after a glass or two of "something!"

"It's so nice to meet someone with the same husband/wife religious conflict."

Here's another, well a mixed married anyway! Like I've said fifty zillion million times on this forum I am married to a moderate Muslim. BUT although I was Christian when he married me, I'm now into New Thought and magick (a witch, not Wiccan though) and that's it. Although I kinda like Mandalas and mantras a bit.
So we too have that mix of beliefs like you guys in the sense that we don't believe the same things when it comes to spirituality/religion!

BillieCat
re: "If I had a child, I know my parents would definately try to enforce the separate dishes and the types of food, no meat/dairy, etc. That would put a huge strain on our marriage and I don't want to raise a child in any conflict that I can prevent! It is hard enough for in-laws to get along but when a child is involved, it is more serious!
That is only one reason for me to be CF but it is still important!"
Well..like I have said before here,
it is another reason
I am glad me and my husband are childfree.
Like I've said HIS folks would want the child raised Muslim MY folks would want it raised Christian and I wouldn't want our child raised up to be indoctrinated by an organised religion.
I find many things about religion fascinating, the architecture and art for e.g!! That's cross religion e.g. Cathedrals, Temples, Mosques, all fascinating. Don't ask me about Synagogues, I don't think I'm allowed to enter one?
And I am always fascinated to learn what others believe as long as they as individuals are reasonably tolerant.
BUT I would NOT personally
want to have a child of mine raised up in an organised religion cos of what I'VE been through.
If they were an adult and they made up their own mind then I would totally respect that. But children can't always think so critically (obviously!) as adults can. ETC.
Interfaith marriages can work work but I
personally think although it's nice to have a child in the mix personally I think it makes it a LOT bloody harder!
(And sometimes well for me anyway, with some really Islamaphobic people out there, as blissfully happily married as we are, sometimes it's bloody well hard ENOUGH thank you!)
SO...Reason number 88 million why I'm glad I'm childfree!!!!!!!

And P.S. as much as I used to love family Xmases before leaving my home country, when I went back nearly four years ago for a visit, my brother and some of my relatives were driving me CRAZY!! So I DO feel sorry for some of YOU having to put up with nonesense every year!

Right on!!

Don't forget Captain Morgan! He's easy to hide!
"It's just eggnog, Dad!"
"It's just spiced apple cider, Grandma!"

Hehe... "It's just me trying to survive a day with you lunatics!"

Ha ha ha! I love it here.