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Cookiecody #349374 10/23/07 03:40 PM
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If abortion is unacceptable to someone for religious or whatever reasons, what about adoption?

You know, I always find it interesting about adoption. My family was a 'foster family' and we saw kids of all ages come and go. And most of them never got adopted, just stayed in the 'system' until they were too old, then got kicked out into 'adulthood'. Granted, there's probably a hotter....market for itty bitty babies, so maybe it doesn't really apply to them. I just always felt bad for the kids between 1 and 18 that no one wanted. So I'm convinced people either aren't adopting much, or really just want newborns.

By the way, Depo is VERY reliable as long as the shots are done on time, so Rogue, you really don't have to worry much about an accident. I've also heard it can take a while after coming off Depo to regain fertility, but of course I wouldn't count on that...there's always an exception!

I know, and the one 'scare' we had was because I had a doctor's office pregnancy test on the same day that I had gotten the Depo shot, so my hormone levels were a bit off...had to go in and re-test...terrified!
I am actually the one pushing my hubby to wean ourselves off the condoms a bit, because we've only used Depo for years with no problems...but after that scare, he's all about 'suiting up'! :~P

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Cookiecody #349384 10/23/07 03:54 PM
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My previous work as a counselor in an abortion clinic underscored my feelings about choice. I feel it is a personal decision to be made by the woman involved, period.

I never wanted to be in that situation myself and a combination of luck and responsibility have made that work for me.

That being said, I'd find a surprise pregnancy horribly difficult. I don't know what I'd do, but I don't anticipate being in that situation.

Rogue #349385 10/23/07 03:55 PM
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I would rather terminate a zygote early on than let a child grow inside me, give it away after nine months, and then feel bad for the rest of my life wondering how it might turn out and whether it hates me for abanonding it.

My parents adopted my two younger siblings (now ages 5 and 7) and I always wonder how their mother could have given them up. If I ever do have a child, I will fight to KEEP it, not just give it away to let its fate be decided by strangers or even relatives.

To me it's very easy to see how someone would rather have an abortion -- especially now when it's so easy to take a pill when you are like four weeks pregnant... miscarriages happen at 4 weeks all the time from the Pill or just natural reasons anyway -- than grow and give birth to and give AWAY a living human being. I could never do that for sure, under any circumstances, but I could have an abortion if I felt ti was necessary.

nadiaj #349450 10/23/07 09:28 PM
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I am pro-choice. At this point, I know I'd abort, if for no other reason than there is no way we could afford a child.

It's so funny because I was going to post something about abortion today, too. There was an article about it in the Trib, and there has been a consequent posting fight on the Trib forum. One of the ongoing topics was "does abortion raise a woman's chances of getting breast cancer?" One person, totally pro-life and a fundie, posted something today about how a woman isn't fully developed until she completes her first pregnancy, so if there is an abortion, the breasts aren't fully developed and something happens to the tissue. Oh, and because the breasts' purpose is to make milk, so if they are denied that bad stuff happens ...

I think it's complete BS. Would that be the same with a miscarriage? Grrr.

nadiaj #349451 10/23/07 09:32 PM
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I have one daughter and I am pro choice. However I can tell you that if you see your babies heart beating on the screen which it does in the first 2 months of pregnancy, then its hard to think of it as just a group of cells.

I felt my daughter moving by the 16th week, she was alive, no doubt in my mind. NO, she could not have survived outside my body but she was no less alive. Saying that because a child can't survive outside the Mothers body has any significance does not follow logically. There are plenty of people out there who can't survive without additional support, whether it be the woman who has to have an oxygen bottle or someone who has had a transplant or is on a respirator.

I have a friend who due to a medical problem was temporarily on respirator, she could not on her own sustain her life...that did not mean her life was not of value and should not continue.

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I'm pro choice as well. I agree with Lisa as far as if I were to become pregnant I know that I could never have an abortion, and I wouldn't want to. That aside, I think other people should have the option to make their own choices. It's something very personal that people should have the right to decide for themselves. I don't agree with government or individuals making life/bodily decisions for other people.

I had a professor in college who said that she would really like to see a proposal from the pro life group showing how they would care for the over one million babies that are aborted each year. She pointed out that what they conveniently don't mention is that many of these babies aren't adoptable and that the mothers couldn't afford to care for the children if they had them anyway. It would cause government welfare and medical programs to skyrocket. She said that once they could show her how they'd take care of all this, then she'd consider changing her stance. I just thought that was really interesting since I had never thought of it that way before.

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One of the reasons I stay in a constant state of pregnancy- paranoia is that while I'm sure I would abort if an accident happened, it would cause serious problems in our relationship. My fiance is against abortion. There is no way he could talk me out of it if we had an oops. Our relationship would probably end with a massive argument... right before I went to the clinic.

Then again, he knows I have no maternal instinct whatsoever and our finances are already very strained (because of his spawn from a previous relationship). So if that situation came to pass, there's a chance I could fix our oops without losing him.


Happily Living The Childfree Life!
M.B. #349473 10/23/07 11:29 PM
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Hypothetical question - if you found out you were pregnant and he didn't suspect, would you tell him? Or would you just off to the clinic and do the deed? Is this a case of what he doesn't know won't hurt him?

I always told my ex that if I was ever pregnant, he'd be the last to know. I can't actually think of anything more cruel for someone who you suspect wants kids (or know for sure they do) than to throw this in their face. But if you're not carrying on with the pregnancy, what purpose does disclosure have?


Childfree? Join us at www.thechildfreelife.com.
bobhope #349476 10/23/07 11:38 PM
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Originally Posted By: Ava
I'm pro choice as well. I agree with Lisa as far as if I were to become pregnant I know that I could never have an abortion, and I wouldn't want to. That aside, I think other people should have the option to make their own choices. It's something very personal that people should have the right to decide for themselves. I don't agree with government or individuals making life/bodily decisions for other people.

I had a professor in college who said that she would really like to see a proposal from the pro life group showing how they would care for the over one million babies that are aborted each year. She pointed out that what they conveniently don't mention is that many of these babies aren't adoptable and that the mothers couldn't afford to care for the children if they had them anyway. It would cause government welfare and medical programs to skyrocket. She said that once they could show her how they'd take care of all this, then she'd consider changing her stance. I just thought that was really interesting since I had never thought of it that way before.


Thats how I feel, there are too many unique circumstances that come along for abortion to be outlawed. Lets say that we make it ONLY legal if the woman was raped. How do we prove the woman was raped? Are you going to wait until the courts say so, if then the child will be grown and off to college. If you gave a woman an abortion because she SAID she was raped, that would NO DOUBT be used in court against a man as so called proof that he did indeed rape her.

I don't believe abortion is THE solution as often as its used. I know from personal experience that when you find out your pregnant and were not expecting to be, the hormones and the emotions can run away with you. There are other workable solutions.

My neice has had two abortions because she is too lazy to take her birth control pills and she sleeps around. TO ME, thats not a good reason to have an abortion. Unfortunately my sister has allowed my neice to grow into one of THE most irresponsible people I have EVER met in my life and of course it flows over into her reproductive choices.

We as a society need to educate people better, men and women about the effective use of birth control, pure and simple. There are ways to be sexually active and NOT get pregnant.

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One of my friends had an abortion last weekend. I went with her for emotional support. I told my mother I was going to go to an abortion clinic with a friend and she freaked out. She said I shouldn't go because that would mean that I condone abortion. That really bothered me. I felt like she was attackiing my morals as well as the morals of a person she's never met. I told her that the last thing my friend needed in her fearful time, was someone judging her. She did not come to her decision easily. She is graduating from college in December, and already has a great job lined up. A baby would completely throw her off track.


People always try to talk women out of abortions, but those people will not be there at 3 am when the baby is crying with a fever.

I've always liked to think that if faced with the option, I'd choose to have the child, but as I grow up, I'm able to see the bigger picture. I certainly would never want to take away anyone's right to choose.


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