BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Child substitutes...

While I'm a fencesitter on some medical research (I can see both sides), I am generally disgusted at the conditions in which the animals are kept. I feel strongly that they should be given as much care and respect as possible, seeing as they are suffering on our behalf.

That said, I wholly oppose animal product testing and go out of my way to purchase cruelty-free whenever/wherever possible, even if it means spending more.

Lisa, maybe you can help me understand this one - one of my friends was very anti-cruelty until she had kids. Then she'd buy whatever was deemed "best" for her baby. Of course companies are going to say something is "best" when THEY manufacture it, and most magazine ratings/reviews don't take into account how something is produced. Isn't it feasible to have a baby and maintain a cruelty-free household?

Although my pets are my children, I agree with Timsgirl that they are not kid substitutes. I don't have pets because I don't have kids ... I have pets because I wanted pets.

Totally true. I have animals because I like animals. I don't like children. Therein lies the difference...

I'm seriously contemplating volunteering for an animal adoption/rescue center. One of the local ones here in Connecticut is a Boxer rescue group. I have had experience with Boxers and they are truly magnificent dogs. I went on to their website to look at dogs up for adoption and found this. Although I do not blame the parents in their decision, it just goes to show how a toddler can change things:

Zena is a sweet and loveable Boxer. She loves attention and being with her people. Despite her size, she thinks she is a lap dog. She is energetic but calms quickly. She loves to play and knows how to fetch.
She was adopted two years ago to a family who already had a boxer; they thought she would be a good companion to their dog. However both dogs like to be the boss and have gotten into occasional squabbles. The family now has an infant and they are afraid that if the dogs should get into a fight that their child may accidentally get injured. Although Zena has been gentle with the families 7-month-old child, she does not have a lot of exposure to other kids, so we are looking for a home without young children. Zena can also be fearful of some men but, when offered a cookie, she warms up quickly.

Zena loves going on walks but is not perfectly leash trained. She is trained on an electric fence and enjoys spending time outside in the sun with her family. The family is sad that Zena needs to find a new home, and they said they would definitely keep her if they did not already have a dog.

This is the simplest, most perfect way to put it.

I am currently relaxing on a sunday afternoon with my puppy sleeping with his head in my lap and my cat purring on the back of the couch behind me while my boyfriend is out golfing and I couldn't be happier.
If I had 2 young kids, he would probably still be golfing and I would probably be ready to pull my hair out by now. What an easy choice!!

Cayenne....I must say......that sounds great.

I do my best to buy products that have not been tested on animals...I see no reason to be cruel to animals like that.

I think sometimes what the media says is best for your child is not actually best.

Gosh, this stuff is so sad. I would be an emotional wreck if I had to decide between my child and my pet. Of course you would have to put the child first, but how dreadful to do that to your pet. You would leave them with abandonment fears for the rest of their lives.

I've had a few people accuse me of having pets to substitute for kids, much to my annoyance. There's care and nurturing involved, but SO much less responsibility, worry and the expectations are totally different. Normal parents raise their children with hopes they'll become responsible, happy adults living on their own. A normal pet owner simply seeks a live-in relationship with an animal with the expectation that it will provide companionship, entertainment and not pee all over everything.

I don't consider Jackie, my cat, a child sub, either. She's WAY more sophisticated than a kid, though she does like to babble sometimes. She talks, I answer, she talks, I answer...this goes on for only a little while before I either stop answering (and she'll still keep it up) or calmly say, "Shhuuuut uuuuup!" which of course I don't think you're supposed to do with a kid.

I was able to make "improvements" on my cat to ensure my own comfort: I spayed her so I don't have to deal with messy heat cycles, and I had all of her claws taken out (initially it was just the back, but then I got a new leather sofa, and within two days, it had some slasher marks, so I had her front claws removed too...she's an indoor-only cat, so no threat of danger for her).

Can you imagine the "improvements" I'd have to make on a kid to make things more pleasant for me? OH man...I'd have to wrap its hands in tape so it couldn't draw on the walls; its room would be soundproof so I wouldn't have to wear ear plugs when it screams and wails; I'd have to find something to feed it to stunt its growth so I wouldn't have to buy so many clothes...soooo many improvements, juuuuust wasn't worth it.