BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Not the time and place to bring up children

I was once a member of the Seventh Day Adventist Church, I stop going because the church made me feel guilty. They would preach about keeping the sabbath holy. I just couldn't live up to every thing they stand for. I would shop on the sabbath, only time i could get a ride. And being alone i watched t.v on the sabbath.(nothing holy)I ate meat. i just didn't feel like i fit the role model of a good Christian. which made me feel a lot of guilt.My son and his family are members of the church, I don't down peoples religion. if it right for them then God bless. i just have a personal relationship with God and that works for me.

It's kind of interesting about the religion thing. I'm not religious in the slightest, but I don't think I'd have any issues with sendign my kids to Sunday School in a moderate Christian church for a couple of years. I don't think it hurts them to understand the religious meanings of Xmas and Easter, and be taught the basic Christian values of peace, love and tolerance.

The only sad thing is, finding a "moderate" Christian church is becoming more and more difficult.

I don't think raising children today put me off....I think I was already off!
But, I do see your point and it is a real concern.
I've noticed that kids grow up so quickly today and I think that's a shame - childhood is so short and it should be a wonderful time - a time of learning, growing, developing ideas and dreams/goals - it should be a happy time of your life.
I was reading recently about the number of 16 year old girls on the pill and that most teenagers start their sexual life at about 14!
At 14 I was studying, visiting my grandparents on the weekend, spent time with my cats, friends and siblings, listened to music - I can tell you my parents would not have welcomed a boyfriend...
The body image thing today - so many girls have eating disorders - I don't think I ever even thought about dieting - just ate the meals prepared at home and lived an ordinary teenager's life.
The worry of drugs....the list is almost endless.
I think parents today have a huge responsibility to set limits and boundaries - to raise your child so they have the strength to value themselves and their bodies.
Personally, many things put me off motherhood.
Even today I look at my colleagues that are trying to work full time and climb the corporate ladder while juggling nannies, creche hours, babysitters etc. It doesn't look like much fun.
I make no criticism of working mothers....that's a personal choice and/or necessary to pay the bills.
I do know however, that if I had wanted a child I would not be in my current position - in my opinion it would be unsuitable - I fly to Japan and HK frequently - I'm overseas 4 months of the year and often interstate.
Yet I see women trying to manage motherhood and this sort of position - on top of all their other responsibilities. I couldn't have done it - sheer mental and physical exhaustion would have beaten me for sure...

I am NO longer a Seventh Day Adventist. I run the other way when they come up, when I see them in public.

I'm glad I got out for my daughters sake, that community was no place to bring up a child.

Lisa-I realize that you're not adventist. I just found it odd that someone besides me had been brought up that way. I thought it was a rare looney bin type situation. Looking back on it as an adult it was so weird. Why would anyone go through all that?

I'm always embarassed if anyone asks what religion my family is. I generally just mumble something and walk away. I've always found it bizarre beyond explaining. Besides it's no one's business anyway. I don't think my in-laws even know half of the weirdness. My husband thinks my grandmother is a bit much to say the least. Needless to say we don't see them much.

I've always thought that looking back on it what they all needed was a glass of wine with dinner. Loosen everyone up a bit. It sure would have helped at holidays!

OH, I didn't mean it so you would think I am offended. I am glad to have met more people from the same religious background as myself who also found it imposible to maintain in their life.
I understood how you meant it.

WAY back during the Waco seige, I stopped acknowledging any connection to them. NOW if someone asks what religion we are, I tell them we don't celebrate a relgion, OR I tell them we are concientious objectors.

I like the idea of saying you don't celebrate a religion. Thats great. I might take that route too!

When people ask that, I don't want to offend them by going into a long diatribe about how stupid I think it all is. That way I can be respectful but also get across the message that I don't involve myself in that. Saying "I don't believe in religion" would be offensive to people and I don't like to put people in that position.

NOW of course there are people who try to corner me and argue religion, those are the ones that I tell I am a concientious objector. This term comes from people who are forced by the draft (in wars past), who declined to carry a weapon to kill anyone, they were often made medics and such. I use the term because religion is SO often used as a weapon against people, to hurt, harm and subdue, just like a gun or a hand grenade. People usually get exactly what I mean when I say it and are at a loose for words to reply. They know that religion has been at the center of most of the worlds big conflicts and have no way to refute my assessment.

Now that I've left my father's side of the family (the adventist side), I haven't had anyone try and argue religion. Thank goodness. I think our lack of church attendance helps with this. But I do get tired about people occasionally asking about what religion I am. It seems kind of like the "why don't you have kids" question. I don't ask other people this stuff so I'm always annoyed when they ask me. It's always good to have a planned response though like you mentioned, then you don't come off in a rude way. Usually I'm just taken aback that people are even asking so I don't have a good answer. Now I do.