BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Older Men with Young Brides

lngilbert--
This isn't the forum to go into it, but as the wife of a legal immigrant, I'll just say 'word' to your thoughts there!

And sorta on topic, my father was 30 years older than my mother...the idea still squicks me out. My husband is only 8 years older than me, and I still tease him that when he was 16, I was still young and playing with Barbies! BTW, my parents were both...well, Anglo-Americans, for lack of a better determination. It may have been the opposite of the Thai/Aussie thing, because my mom had more money than my dad and he was often cowed by her! :~D

30 years is a huge age difference!
I often wonder how these relationships happen - I remember at university a tutor asked me out - he was 12 years older than me and I considered him too old for me - It was also possibly because I was a student and he was the teacher. But I don't think I ever looked at anyone more than 6 years older (roughly) as a prospect - I ended up with a man 18 months younger than me. I have had friendships with older men but don't think it ever crossed my mind that it could be anything more than a friendship - I think I felt that we were at different stages of life.
If money is not a motivating factor - is it the case that the girl is looking for a father figure in her life or feels safer and more secure with an older man? What about shared interests with that sort of age gap?

LOL my husband is 21 yrs older then me and I dont notice the age difference at all. I was an only child and never got along well with my own age so... I feel more at home with his age group then with my own. I am 27 and he is 48. When we go out somewhere I still carry my ID just incase someone comes up and says something but that has never happened yet anyways... I guess I dont look 15 anymore lol

I'm married to a man 10 years (and 3 days) older than me. We started dating when I was 22 & he was 32. Honestly, we don't notice the age gap, but as with freebubbles3, I'm an only child and at times it feels like I'm the older one in the relationship. I never found males in my own age group really attractive as they all seemed fairly unsettled and like they were only interested in partying.

With my now husband, I knew that he was looking at something more serious and that we had long term goals together.

That's really interesting - I guess an only child is used to be around adults so feels more comfortable with an older person - also, I agree woman usually mature faster. My husband was born when his parents were in their mid 40s - his siblings are 17,15 and 10 years older - he was very mature in his 20s possibly because he was surrounded by older people/adults when growing up.
My mother also reminded me of a friend of the family - an only child and she married a man 23 years older.
I also know a 16 year old boy - an only child - very mature for his age.
Must be something to the only child theory....we've worked it out!

Although many people may think it's about the money - I disagree. There is a 25 year old age difference between my husband and me (37 vs 62) and I don't see it! He was a widow when we started dating - - the friendship eventually grew into love. Granted, it was hard on our respective families when we announced we were getting married. Heck, I am 2 and a half years older than his oldest son! An my mother is 8 years older than him! Yes, there was tension in the beginning but his sons have seen that I care deeply about their dad and my mom has seen how happy I am with him and how good he is for me.

You know...he is pretty active man (works out at the gym, enjoys yard work, likes to go out & socialize), still works, has a great sense of humor and a wonderful personality. We simply enjoy each other's company. FYI - His mother is still alive (92 years old, takes no medication, only wears a hearing aid, still drives, & lives by herself) so I am hoping he has that gene in him!!!

DH is 8-1/2 years YOUNGER than me. But he's always acted like an old man, so it balances out ;-) We met when he was 18 and just starting school and I was 26 and already out. At first we were just friends and hung out, but things evolved. He was never into the whole college-party life, he was serious and studied like it was his job. It's still a challenge to get him to loosen up and have fun. Mostly people think we're the same age, and mostly they assume I'm his age! Woohoo! I'll take being 8+ years younger any day!

Before I met my fiance, everyone I dated was within 2 years of my own age and no kids. I'm sure those factors were part of "my type" in part because of my youth, but they were standards, nonetheless.

Then I met M. He's just under five years older than me and has a daughter from a previous relationship. The age gap and his parent status made my parents shake their heads, but it works for us. He has a child already, so I don't feel that my choices are taking anything from him. He has seen much the world (former Navy man) and I have seen very little of it. I can't wait until we're well-off enough for him to be my guide. He's highly intelligent, but scatter-brained and absentminded (think Einstein) . I'm intelligent enough for us to have truly great conversations, but much more grounded in the mundane details that elude his notice.

He's the middle child of three, very close in age to his older brother, and my only sibling is so much younger than myself that I was his sitter when he was a toddler. (I always feel like an only child because my brother and I were not close enough in age to share childhood.)

My point is that maturity and experience balance out naturally in good relationships, despite the number of years you've each been breathing...

I've always been a bit freaked out by the prospect of someone my father's or grandfather's age coming on to me. When I was in Italy I was attacked by a gentleman in his 60s (I was 21) who seemed to believe in this weird stereotype that American women are easy. I tend to get a lot of older men cat calling me and starting at my rear. It GROSSES me out! Just a few weeks ago, I was out at the local casino with my SO and my parents (for crying out loud) and this old trucker wouldn't stop staring at my rear. My SO said the guy was licking his lips- GROSS! GROSS! GROSS!!! I hate the fact that I feel like I need to have my stepfather or my SO around so that I feel safe. That is not my personality at all, but it scares me.

I've always taken issue to giant generation gaps, and I mean geriatric v. teenager. I know plenty of folks who have 10 or 20 year age gaps; their relationships are fruitful and fulfilling. Its just these foul motives that make it hard for me to swallow.

My SO is 5 years older than me and I joke about how he's robbing the cradle. It's all in good humor

My dad recently married a woman who is 2 years older than I am. There is a 19 year age difference between them. When I was growing up, he would not let me date anyone who was more than 2 years older than me. He said it was sick that these older men prey on young girls. He had to eat a big slice of humble pie when he introduced me to his young wife. I love to tease him about it.