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cool what is your charity?

Oh Freebubbles, thank you for this!
If I may say so - and as this is the Buddhist Forum, I think I can speak far more openly and without reservation than I normally would elsewhere - This is a wonderful illustration of just how much of a challenge Serious Buddhist Practise is!
Many people view Buddhism as "an easy way out" - a means of appearing religious and devoted, without the responsibility to a God or deity. Therefore, it gives so-called Buddhist practitioners immunity against Divine retribution, Punishment or any form of comeback1
But this point illustrates exactly just how difficult it is to practise Buddhism. because we MUST, as Buddhists, do our level best to do exactly what you find so hard. it is an integral and intrinsic part of what we choose to follow. As Buddhists, we are encouraged to abandon prejudice and hatred. we have to put all this aside and view every fellow human being as part of ourselves, which they are. so to hate, condemn, judge and reject them, is to simply do the same thing to ourselves.
It's hard.
It's damned hard.
but it's part of the package.

I know that many people adopt certain faiths, creeds or religions but do so on a "part-time" basis. (Sunday, Feast days and Holy days - the rest of the time we can verbally beat the cr*p out of anyone we want!) Buddhism is a way of Life. This is it. Take it or leave it, there is no if but or maybe.

Right effort, Right Speech right everything.
or forget it.

That's my view anyway.

I understand this is a doctrine of Buddhism. But, as I keep writing in my articles, it is also the only way for any of humanity to find personal peace or for peace talks within our global community.

Hardened indifference is a big problem. But, so is the epidemic of shame.

We had a mascarade (sorry about spelling) ball to benefit the local homeless community.

Cool! That sounds like a worthy cause!

I think I find it so hard to deal with abusive people in a compassionate way because I dont think it possible for them to change.
for example: I went to this store in town and there was a 12 year old girl and a baby in the cart. I didnt think much about it until this woman comes around the corner and half yells are you choking the baby STOP IT and she grapes this kids arms to stop her from chokeing the baby and the baby was blue! it never made a sound it never cried or anything. I turned around and this girl starts hitting and kicking this woman so I jump in and we tackle her to the floor she is no screaming her head off. the manager and some workers in the store show up and try to takcle us off the girl I get up and check on the baby who still has not made a sound and is blue but breathing. I tell the manager that the girl tried to choke the baby and tey should call the EMTs but by now here comes the mom in all her glory ranting about how we abused her kids blah blah blah the teen age girl is smiling!!! and has this peaceful smile on her face like she just got a complement on her hair!!! I left the store after I made sure that the baby was indeed breathing and had gotten his color back and moving. I dont think they called the EMT because the mom thought there was no need and the baby was fine the girl was just playing a joke and blah blah blah we over reacted!!!

How are you suppost to react when a 12 yo girl is smiling while chokeing her little bro? I wanted to put the girl in a mental ward and slap the $#!T out of that stupid so called mom!!! It was obvouse that she did not care about the kids she used threats of a law suit and drama to get her way but she not once looked to see if the baby was ok she did not even pick him up or look at him. and the girl was an after thought because she never even said her name or the babys for that matter.

I find it very hard to have compassion for a mom like that. even if she had been abused all her life and was in an abusive relationship she should be held responcipal for her actions only she can break the cycle on abuse!!!

it may be her family and her choice to do whatever she like but I think there should be more help for that teen that was choking the baby and even more for that baby!!

I did call CPS but with out names and addresses...It dont do any good. and I am sure the store didnt want a scandle either so they said nothing i am sure. which I feel like there should have been something done.

I should have stayed and called 911 when it happened but i wasnt thinking at the time... I think i got chicken and didnt want to get involved because i figured the other people would call the cops and EMTs but....they didnt and I failed to so....I cant point to many fingers with out haveing 4 pointing back at me!

If the girl is suffering from a mental disorder, then she cannot be held entirely and completely responsible for her actions.
She needs professional and medical help.

If people are in an abusive relationship, and they have never known anything else, then it's very difficult to show, demonstrate or believe that there may well be another way available to them to react. It's a question of re-education, re-conditioning and persuasion.
We all need to be shown the way at one time or another. Living is a learning process, it doesn't come entirely by instinct.
The best kind of education is constant and influential example.
If you live in a monastery surrounded by holy people, monks, abbots, nuns and priests, after a while, this atmosphere influences us to behave in a similar way. We slip into the behaviour because we see that it surrounds us, and we become a part of it.
Similarly, if a child knows abuse, cruelty, foul language and violence, their propensity will be to follow that too.... The only way to break the cycle is to ONE: show, without any doubt, that the behaviour is damaging and unskillful, and that TWO: there is an alternative.
If you feel angry, abusive and like kicking someone's [censored] - doesn't that just feed and respond to their own violence?
Isn't that just another form of signal for them that what they are doing is OK, because you feel it too?
Do you see what I mean?

I understand and it does make sense but to a point. I think there is a time to take responiblity for your own actions. the baby was innocent and the victom but the young girl should have know better but like you say she may not know any other way or my have a mental or emotional problem that the mom needs to get her help for before she hurts herself or someone else.
that brings me to the mom. the mom was at lest 40 and she has lived long enough to be responible for what she does and how she raises her kids. she should know how to at the very lest show some concern for her baby who had gome limb or showed some shock or suprise or something at the whole thing but then again she may be so hurt that she cant. but this is no excuse for they way she acted. at her age you are old enough to get help if you need it or want it. plus some one told me that there is not a boyfriend or husband in the picture so she is not living in an abusive situation.... she should get help for herself or someone should help her help herself if not for her for her kids!

I still cant believe this 12yo was choking a baby in the middle of the store right behide me!

Well, there are different kinds of ignorance, I guess....
there's the "Ignorance" of those who don't know, and aren't aware that they're ignorant.....
There's the "Ignorance" of those who don't know, and know they are ignorant, but couldn't give a damn...I guess this may be the mother....
There's the "Ignorance" of those who don't know, and want to improve - That would be me -
And there's the "Ignorance" of those who do know, but don't want to put what they know into practice.... Maybe the Mom falls into this category....

Whatever the case, until you diagnose/define the ignorance, find out why it's there, what can be done about it and - more importantly - what the "ignorant" person wants to DO about it - then all you can do is to correct as far as is possible with the available co-operation, and do so with Compassion, Understanding and Love.
But it really CAN be a bummer sometimes!

that is where i am its a REAL bummer!

ahh the joys of life!