BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Self Development Importance of love

Though sexual intercourse is purely a physical act, when the partners are in love the joy gets multiplied. Hormones play games in the mind and body of lovers. Should love be called purely a chemical change in the body?

I noticed sometimes people will say, "I love you" when what they really mean is, "I want you." Wanting sexually or just desiring someone's attention and love i don't think is the same thing as loving them, because when people want you and say they love you but don't really, they don't care much for your welfare, they just care about getting what they want. So i look out for this in relationships and when someone says, "I love you" i look to see if it's just selfish wanting.

I think of love as being more giving and sharing. I think of parents with children... most parents would do anything for the welfare of their child... they would feed their child before them, give a kidney to keep them alive, come between their child and danger, go without their pleasures to pay for a child's pleasures or college, etc. I think married couples should feel almost like this about each other... that your needs are at least equal. But what i see are many couples where one or both parties are selfish. They will cheat (they are thinking only of themselves), they will lie, they will argue so that they win, rather than both win, they will put each other down just to get back at them. They will make one rule for their partner and claim they themselves don't have to live by that rule. This isn't love. Love is when you care about their welfare and happiness as much as your own.

Yes, Holly. what you say about couples is true. Have you met a couple in real love?

i was once a couple in real love. and yes, i know some.

Were you both totally selfless in your relationship?

love gives us the energy to live.

No one is 100% unselfish -- i don't think that's possible -- but yes, it was real love.

You must be missing it .

i try not to go there.

sometimes it is hard though when i'm at teaching, for instance, and people are sharing news about their families.

Yes, I understand.