i hate feeling like i can't be "too friendly" around kids or else people just assume things.
I know what you mean. My husband has a group of friends who would like us (newly married, each on our second marriages aged 41,me, and 49,him) to have children. Whenever we see them (every month or so) I notice a couple of the women glance down to see if I have a 'baby bump'. Anyway, one of these women has two children - both lovely - and one is a baby. I just love holding that baby on my knee and nuzzling her soft hair with my nose and just marvelling at her perfect little hands etc. That doesn't mean I need to HAVE a baby. But then of course they all look at me with 'that look' - ooooh she really should be a Mum. I feel like saying "look, guys, it's more complex than that! Don't read into things!"
I too get the "you're so good with kids, you should have one!" comment, even from people who know perfectly well that I don't want them.
Usually, when this happens I say something like, "I'm so glad you think I'm good with kids. But, actually, if I were a parent, I'd be so stressed out from the drudgery of parenthood I wouldn't enjoy being around other peoples' kids very much. It's so much fun to visit with them - and not have to worry about raising them."
This usually shuts them up.
Interestingly, when I was growing up I had a number of CF aunts who enjoyed spending with me - did art projects with me, took me out to lunch, out shopping etc. It was great. Why were they able to spend all this time with me? Because they weren't busy raising kids. My other childed relatives were so frazzled dealing with their own kids, the last thing they wanted to do was spend time with other peoples' kids.
I think CFs play an important role in kids lives, which is why I think it's crazy for people to try to convince us to have them. Just let us be the cool aunts, uncles and friends that we are!