BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Was I/am I mean?

As for being mean - I may be the worst. First of all, I, too would be appalled to have been asked for money. If you can't afford a big party, scale back - duh!!

But I am nursing a huge, though quiet, resentment against all of my family and friends who've had kids. I've attended over 15 baby showers for close friends in the past 3 years and have given maybe 5 in-the-hospital yeah for you gifts. At $25 -$35 a piece - that's a chunk of change. I can afford it, I'm happy for my friends - whatever - but will there ever be an opportunity for reciprocation? No. Does anyone acknowledge this? No...except my sister.

She was in the same boat, and seething about it after suffering 2 miscarrages. Finally she had a beautiful healthy baby - and she can't understand why I'm so tight lipped. She is doing the design for my kitchen remodel this fall and thinks I should have a kitchen shower so people have the opportunity to reciprocate. Initially, I told her forget it, that's just the way things play out - but maybe I ought to...

I've been quiet about it thus far because I thought my sense of fairness about this was petty and mean...and it may be. Still.

HEY! You have a POINT! That's darn right, I dish out money for people's showers all the time. And I hand-make them stuff. And what do I get in return? Mostly, NOTHING. You know what? I don't know. I'm not going to anymore stupid showers, that's for sure. They can get a nice card from me.

I personally would be more motivated to attend a kitchen shower...particularly if there were no silly games involved.

Of course, I can see what would happen. Your friends/family for whom you have never shelled out money for gifts would come. Those for whom you have attended showers for would think you were crazy and not show up. Sigh.

I think a kitchen shower is great! Everyone loves new kitchens don't they? When we did our kitchen remodel I went to everyone's home that had a new kitchen, the first thing they tell you is what not to do! It was helpful and fun.

No, you weren't mean. That's just wrong. Ask for money and help and whatever? And it's wrong to bring it to the work place too. Nice to invite everyone, but the rest is over the top.

Baby showers, just buy a bag of diapers and a tub of wipes, put a bow on it. Save money and time, and mom will love it all the same.

Maybe I could have a kitchen shower where everyone showers me with a new kitchen?! : )

NICE, Frieda, on the kitchen shower!!

I think I would like to have an "Introduction to Wine Appreciation" shower. To rhyme with the original post, shall I ask for more support in money or supplies?

I have no child, but would love help in the areas I like instead.

Gimmie a break.

Nope, you weren't mean or rude...I agree with many of the other posters. Your coworker was beyond boundaries by asking for money...I would never do that. And unless she was close friends with the other coworkers, I find it strange that she would even ask them to help. But, that is just me. If I were you, I would not worry. If it was me in the situation, I would have kept my mouth shut too.