BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Good comebacks that are not TOO nasty?!

I know, but I know for sure she doesn't want them. I think she was just saying *if* it happened, that's what she would do. She was telling me she and her husband are "selfish with their time," etc. I'm sure they are using regular bc, but she seemed to find the idea of permanent protection offputting.

I love that you said that to your coworker! Hilarious! I mentioned in another post that my fiance's gay uncle was going off on how no one wants to stay home anymore (with the kids). And I went off on him. I don't see him volunteering to do it, but he thinks women should know their role and adopt it. Coming from someone that doesn't know how to do any traditionally male tasks. Whatever! Gender roles work both ways! If women need to strap on an apron, I guess he should strap on a set.

Maybe, "I'd rather off myself than reproduce. The result is the same - a woman's life is over when she has kids." I know, it's pretty hardcore, but true.

That's actually my long standing comeback line when someone is particularly nosey or rude, or it's someone I'll never see again. "I'd rather slash my wrists with something blunt".

It tends to stop the questioning dead in its tracks.

I'm BITCHY today. We're having a work BBQ, and the boss's daughter, who is on maternity leave from the company, has invited herself along, and bought her 3 yo and screaming 6 month old along with her. The baby hasn't shut up wailing in reception for the last half hour. It's driving me NUTS.

My partner and I have one comment that we both use when faced with "When are you two having kids?"

We're not. We like nice things. (Which has the double meaning that we can afford them because we don't have children and they don't get broken because we don't have children)

If people continue, it gets back to some of these (the usage of which depends on my general like or dislike of the person and amount of respect I have for them):

- What's your sex life like? (shocked look) Oh, my mistake, I thought it was the time for inappropriate questions
- Why, are you looking forward to raising it?
- Good grief, do we look like we have nothing better to do?
- Why the sudden interest in my ovaries? Would you like to hear about the cyst on the left one?

Then there's the one, "But you'd make a great mother"
- I'm sure I would, just as I'm sure I'd make a great CIA spy. However, some things just aren't going to happen in this lifetime.

I just love it! Such a great way to round it off!

I had lunch recently with a gay work contact. I have recently got married. I don't know him THAT well but we have started to commence a kind of a friendship that might move outside work. He said "so, I suppose you're going to start having a family now". I said "Well, I'm 41 now, M, so it's not a given." He blushed and the subject changed. I truly think deep down he was asking me because he probably HOPED I wasn't going to be another person in his life who is having children, as he is gay and currently single. He had a sort of mournful tone when he asked. I also think he presumed I was early to mid 30's because I look younger for my age. So I forgave him

When I was first married, I was like 22 years old and my husband was 30. People would ask us when we were going to have children. I finally got sick of being nice and would just tell them "I'm not in the habit of discussing such intimate topics with the public at large". This usually made them feel badly enough that they stopped and NEVER asked again

That is just brilliant. After a while you do get tired of being nice. That is a great comeback that I am going to have up my sleeve. If said gently, it could really make people feel bad.

I find myself wanting to ask people if they are going to have children ... because sometimes I hope they don't! I haven't actually asked anyone because I hate it when people ask me.

Yes...I think most of us don't ask that question to people because we are sensitive about how it feels...and it IS a very personal question, and we respect that! I don't ask people that unless they've just asked me. Then I feel it's fair.

I like the "I'm not in the habit of discussing such intimate topics with the public at large" response, for nosy strangers. But people who are friend and family would feel that they're not "the public" and so have the "right" to ask, and dig! So they need other responses.

Cindy