BellaOnline Forums Education Gifted Education at a crossroads with my gifted son

Oh, I just should add a note to answer your question. My elder son, who is the one who has been in every schooling situation available, has been grade accelerated twice.We would have loved a flexible subject acceleration (which we did while homeschooling) but that never worked for our schools. The parochial school skipped him once and would have worked if the principals plan for further subject acceleration had been accepted by the teacher, but that did not pan out and eventually led to some very bad teacher attitude issues. After homeschooling one more year,my son was allowed a second skip into a public charter school (with proper documentation and with the caveat that he could be pushed back if he did not perform academically or socially). He was on the high honor roll in that school but the school was very inflexible and just did not foster any love of learning...it was more like a boot camp.

In retrospect, I think that grade accel has worked for this child but I would have loved more flexibility like I know works for friends across the country. If at age 10 he could be allowed to work at his own pace and be in classes with ages 11 or 12 to 16 he would be very happy.Homeschooling should accomplish this but did not pan out socially or academically in our geographic location (and my son really likes to be in classes, so we had to find some of those situations that were open to young kids). He is a newly-minted 10 year old who will be in 7th graders who are 13 and above. But that does not bother him and has yet to become an issue for us.

Surfersmom, I am really hoping that the new school situation will be a positive one. Please keep us posted!

Lynn, you said this:
Education is successful when the program (regardless of source) fits the specific needs of the child and challenges him/her to do his/her very best. In my book, simply meeting basic educational needs isn't enough. The child must be nurtured, supported, challenged, guided, and exposed to the world in which he/she lives. If the program can do all of that and permit the child to develop as an individual, encourage free-thinking, encourage independence, encourage creativity and help the child discover his/her own path to success (as defined by the child), then you're good.

I agree completely. I hope your son will not just get along, but thrive this coming year.

Zandes, I'm a bit stressed from some rough nights with the little one. I'm sorry if I make homeschooling sound scary. Actually, I felt a HUGE weight come off my shoulders when we began homeschooling my eldest. The morning rush, the afternoon rush, packing lunches, uniforms, report cards, teacher meetings, and PTO were all eliminated in one fell swoop. The entire family felt the difference, and it was very liberating.

When I need a break, I can trade off childcare with homeschooling friends who have similarly aged children. I also make an effort to be unavailable from 7-8 pm, just before bedtime for the youngest. I like to sit and read while DH watches TV or works on his laptop. Dh and I also sometimes leave our teen in charge and take a walk in the evening, just to have a half hour or so alone.
My friends and I have dinner out without the kids every so often too, but it can be hard to coordinate schedules. Next week, I am meeting a friend for tea, and between the two of us we have nine children! It's no easy feat getting away from them all, even for an hour. It matters though, and so we keep making the effort.

I totally agree with this!

Lorel,

I actually *never* planned to homeschool..LOL Or stay home. I didn't know how I'd feel about parenting until I actually became a mom--and even then I figured I'd just stay home for a few years and then put them in school and go back to work.

My story of how I got to where I am in terms of my beliefs is actually an article here at Bella:

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Exactly. I sometimes hear from other school teachers that I should put my energy into changing the school system instead of homeschooling my own kids.

I used to fight for change. It was exhausting and I soon realized that it would be YEARS before things would be better.
Sure, things might get better down the road, but I have make decisions based on what's happening NOW in schools in my area (and my child's individual needs).

We've lucked out with the charter and the new magnate, I think. Both are child-centered (not child-led, but centered around his needs... give my DS the chance to decide for himself what he wants to learn and the only thing he'll aim for is gaming... that may change... someday... maybe...). There are no true GT programs in any of the schools/districts servicing our area. Here, GT translates to an extra hour a day spent on "academic enrichment" (can you say "let's learn how to ace the state's academic performance test"?). We drove almost an hour north for him to attend a day school that permitted him to flex grades in the subjects he excelled in; and will drive an hour south for the new magnate in order to offer him the same opportunity as he's advancing in grades. It's been a learning experience for all of us; and we have years left to keep this up. Yippee.

The mother of four gifted students, all went through the public school system. Some years were great, others were not so great. There's pros and cons to whatever you do. We live in a smaller community so it was important that they had the other opportunities as well, such as social, sports, arts, that were primarily only available through the school system. Was it the best choice? We'll never know, but three graduated as valedictorians or top five, two scored the highest of their class on the acts, one holds the school record. So I guess the public school system didn't completely fail them, although some teachers along the way did.

Here's a few examples: Math grade 6, ds is above grade level, teacher gave him the book and basically said have at it. Science, grade 6, ds is above grade level. Well, he's very bright. dd grade 6 is tested as geniouse, we could put her in an enrichment program. dd grade 9, math teacher is incorrect and argues with student to the point of frustration, dumb. dd grade 10, english teacher doesn't know what to do with her, allows her to develop her own curriculum, ok fine. But it went on like this forever, and there was only a time or two you would find a teacher that truly appreciated your childs intelligence, for the most part they are intimidated by it. Forgive me if their mother doesn't spell like a geniouse!

Have one to go, this dd doesn't have the social stigma that can go with being gifted, she has all the common sense in the world to blend in, yet retain a 4.0. Lucky for her, most don't have that which makes the public school a not so fun place to be. While the other three were the ones the teachers wanted to take home and keep, this one is the one that the teacher would prefer to send to detention. Oh my. Isn't it all fun. Yet, her attitude allows her to survive.

Funniest thing, the only B dd #1 received was in penmanship in grade three. How funny is that? She still writes like she's in third grade, she just writes beautiful words now, as she has a BA in english.

Good luck with your decision, I know a lot depends on the resources you have available to you within your community.

Iwonder-

It is funny that your daughter got her worst grade in penmanship, and went on to be a writer. My oldest has a similar story. He has dysgraphia and hated writing assignments up until he learned to type. He's a keyboarding whiz now, and is a college student planning on a career in writing. All through his childhood, I has him pegged as a programmer! You never can tell which way they'll go...

Lorel

I was secretly hoping to read a delusional little paragraph that there was a magic fit for highly gifted kids that just materialized because there was a need. My district doesn't "do acceleration", has no remaining gifted programs, resources, teachers. I feel shoved into homeschooling. A good choice for him, I think. But, maybe not such a good choice for me. I was really hoping to be able to devote the 1-on-1 time to my youngest while he's just starting out that I gave Zoren when he was that age. I thought the hours he was at school would have been a great bonding time for me and the baby. I also wanted to take a dream or two of mine out of queue and would have appreciated a few hours of freedom a day.

Unfortunately, Zandes, the situation you and I've experienced in our districts holds true for a majority of students in the U.S.