BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids She Wants a Baby, He Doesn't...

You would think it would be easier to train husbands than puppies! LOL! Usually it's vice-versa though! (Lynette's puppy - "I am so glad my Daddy leaves those yummy wallets out for me to chew on. They taste so good and feel so nice in my mouth!")

I can't tell you how many all-points-bulletin searches we've had around here for wallet, car keys, sunglasses...the list goes on! One of the most interesting places he's ever "hidden" his wallet from himself is in the closet in a shoe. He came in late one night and undressed in the closet so as not to wake me up, and put his wallet in a shoe. Next morning didn't remember where he'd put it, we turned the house upside down, were on the brink of calling credit cards to cancel them, then I happened to notice the wallet where he'd stashed it!

Cindy

Actually, Lynette's rant is the best rant I've read for ages. That should be posted on Craigslist.

You think he would have learned by now. The husband, not the puppy.
That cracked me up.

I'm lucky, I guess. I have a man who will help around the house if I ask him to. If he really doesn't want to do it, I might have to remind him a couple of times. Only occasionally do I have to do it myself. The trouble is that he rarely takes initiative. If I don't specifically ask him to to a specific task, it doesn't get done.

The other day, after 2 very chaotic days in a row, I limped in from work and propped up my bad leg. After the greetings with man and cat, the first thing I heard was "I'm really tired." followed by "So what are you planning for dinner?" Keep in mind that I have an arthritic knee and I work on the inventory team of a large retail establishment and he's a desk jockey network admin. Who's tired!?!!? But I caved to him. I told him that if he caught up on the dishes (we had some hand-wash only items piled on the counter top) while I rested, I'd make dinner afterwards. Why am I such a sucker for him???

I just have to chime in about the glasses thing -- it has gotten to the point where i unconsciously make note of where he has left his glasses so that when he asks me where they are I don't even have to look - without even thinking, I have noted where they are at all times. It is like i have a sixth sense about them, it is so odd. i am accurate about 99% of the time without even thinking. I just "know".

As for cleaning and household, our relationship is both amusing and somewhat dysfunctional. When he does something, he does such a good, thorough job, like the fridge with a toothbrush and I feel guilty. It is just that it occurs to him to take on these projects so rarely. I do the routine things like the tub and toilet and sink when they get gross enough, though I am finding my tolerance for gross is getting lower, and i am happier doing these things more. He cooks, he's an incredible chef, i do dishes. One thing we always fight about though is dishes in the sink. Once i'm done for the night after dinner, i hate having to do any remaining dishes that we have created, with snacks or cat food etc. He cant stand that i will leave dishes in the sink overnight and says i should do them - i get mad and say do them yourself and that he never cleans the toilet or tub. We have this argument about once a week.

we also fight over who is going to feed the cat - the cat is old and has to take several medicines and we give him a combo of lots of food, so the whole task takes about 15 minutes and is really annoying, especially when the cat is howling for his dinner. I think i am crazy to assume this would be any different with a kid! "But i fed the kid last night, it is not my night, you feed it[him/ her]"

Yeah, the cleaning lady is cool. I do still have to scrub the bathroom. But she's great for light cleaning, and just the fact that she dusts makes it all worth it! So I don't mind scrubbing the bathrooms - it takes less time, too, because she's already done a pass through on the tile and sink.

rabbitt, we have that same thing with the bunnies, especially when there are medications involved. DH only does the meds when he has NO choice... as in, next week while I'm away, he'll have to give my boy his eye drops. DH just learned "how" to do that - now, come on, eye drops!

neither of us is a gourmet cook, but we do have the "I cooked, you clean" rule, which works pretty well. And I thank the kitchen gods every night that we have a dishwasher - it is by far my favorite appliance ever!

I will say he's pretty good about not misplacing things (although he puts them in places that annoy the [censored] out of me, like on top of the antique secretary). But whenever something does go missing, the first words out of his mouth are always...without fail... "where/why did YOU put.... " His brain apparently never even allows for the possibility that HE could have misplaced it. Aaack! Some days.... (but I love him)

That's so cute, Myra. I'm sure you all make compromises in your relationship and in your daily routine all the time, or else your marriage wouldn't last. Give-and-take. This is what I love about mature adult relationships: Logic, understanding, mutual concern, etc.

I could never have this kind of relationship with my child -- it doesn't exist until MAYBE in their mid-late 20s. Prior to that, you have to have an unconditional love for them where YOU do all the sacrificing, the understanding, etc.

I'm glad you shared this anecdote about you and your hubby, as it reminded me yet again that I'd rather nuture and work on my relationship with my husband for the rest of my life, as I get so much more fulfillment from it. Not to say I benefit from it per se, but I too put in a lot of elbow grease into the relationship, learning and changing little things as we go, and so does he.

I have to admit my husband is really good with all the animals.

DH does love the bunnies. And he's good with feeding them their pellets and greens, but I have to remind him to get them fresh water, clean litterboxes, sweep their area, etc. And he's fine with the meds when he HAS to be (he has even given fluids and shots when I've been gone), but if I'm home, forget it! And he's never cleaned the mouse's cage - says he's "my" mouse. Oh well, Stuart's easy - and he's so darned cute!

This cracked me up Tbunny. We jokingly argue about whose pet is whose only when it's time to clean up the barf. Other than those times (which seem a little too frequent) they're both of our pets.

We have a "you find it, you clean it" rule in our house. Sometimes, though, I get tired of finding stuff, so I pretend I didn't just so I don't have to clean it up.