BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Refreshing perspective

That's too funny! I know. I guess I'm fortunate that I don't want kids anyway, but even if I wanted them, the fact that at least 1/2 of marriages end in divorce would probably steer me away. I absolutely refuse to be a single mom. I respect women that pull it off, and I know it's hard, and some marriages are intolerable, and many women should leave. But it isn't something I want for myself. It looks brutal!

This slays me! My ex fancies that he wants to be a life coach as well - this from a guy who completely messed up our relationship by not being able to make a hard decision if his life depended on it!

My ex roommate is writing a book on "how to have a perfect life". She is the most self-absorbed person I have ever met, treats her boyfriend like her personal slave, and must spend most of the time orbiting the planet because I swear she doesn't actually live here. And people would want to follow her advice? I'd really hope not!

Those are all such funny stories...I really think there are some good life coaches out there, but for the most part it's people who don't have the degree to be a therapist, and anyone can call themselves a life coach. No offense to the good ones out there though.

The person I'm talking about also has a very annoying habit of talking down to everyone like she's some amazingly wise person (who also happens to be a mother of a young adult, who she raised in poverty as a single parent after divorcing her husband in the throes of postpartum depression when her son was a baby and regretting it ever since). Hmmmm.

But the one good thing about her is she is completely supportive of the CF choice, and when I told her we were trying to conceive she said "I think you're crazy." So, she's not all bad! ; )

This is true. And most religions teach that pain and suffering is good. I literally used to think this when I was younger in reference to kids - that kids are like punishment for having sex. It's like, the yin and the yang, and you can't have good without bad. I know some people view them as a blessing, but for someone that isn't wired that way, they clearly aren't. So I think that's another reason religious folk freak out about CFs. They think we are trying to escape something that is our due, or getting away with something. But do they feel the same way about people that take diet pills, instead of exercising, or women that marry a sugar daddy in the place of getting a job? I would say no. Maybe those are bad examples, but I am trying to make a point. I guess they think of us as freeloaders, in a way, and this is evidenced by the comments that THEIR offspring are going to keep social security going, and take care of us when we are old. I have always worked, and I don't think a SAHM deserves more respect than I do. We are all making unique contributions, in my mind.

Wow, I'm quoting you a lot today. We have summer hours, and it's so boring here this afternoon. Anyway, this speaks to something Elise (Bonsai)[where is she, BTW] has said - it's okay to not have kids, as long as you are miserable about it. People love to think they have one up on you, and they have what you want. But if you don't want what they have, they get really funny. Some parents can be so condescending, and they assume that CFs want what they have. It's like, don't worry, one day you will have what I have (pat on the head). I have no problem letting those people know where I stand, and that it isn't an option for me.

If you can not reproduce (because of physical problems) and produce good Christian soldiers/children, then you are given a pass. Else:

a) Christan, and breeder: Be blessed, my chidren.
b) Christian, and CF: Read Genesis 1:28 and pray for repentance.
c) Athiest/Agnostic, and breeder: You may be a lost cause (we'll pray for you), but your children are in our sights.
d) Athiest/Agnostic, and CF: You are scum of the earth.

This may be a prejudiced view, but I think it does explain the typical reaction by those wacky "in your face" Christians why CF peoples are soooooo looked down upon.

A good article. Of course, because she gives lip service to wanting kids someday, she gets far more of a pass than a overtly CF person would.

Feh.