BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Refreshing perspective

Thought some of you might like to read this. I found it insightful and refreshing!

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"You don't know happiness until you've had a baby."

Makes me want to heave. How dare these people assume that what makes them happy is what makes everyone else happy.

You also don't know having your boob leeched onto at 3am, boogers on the wall, peanut butter in the vcr, etc until you've had a baby. So spare me.

How about "You'll never know another restful night, afternoon nap, stretchmark-less stomach, disposable income, or sex in the kitchen after you have kids."

Loved the article. She raises great points. What I found appalling, eventhough most of the comments are in support of the author's position, are the comments from some 'mothers', criticizing and judging the author! Did anyone read the comment from one of those mothers saying that the 4-year old who punched the author in the face was just acting like a normal 4-year old? WTH?? I have a 4-year old nephew and he's never punched anyone, and he better not dare, because neither mom or dad would allow it! It's that 'my-kid-can-do-no-wrong' attitude that some parents have nowdays that drives me crazy!

Excellent article- and the comments were very illuminating!

That was a great article. She summarized pretty much everything I've felt since getting married when asked about children.

P.S. If I EVER had hit someone in the face, my mother would've blistered my little behind.

It was definitely refreshing to read that this morning. It's nice to know that some people who intend to have children are actually going to discipline them and help them grow up in to polite people. I think most people probably agree with her, CF or not!!

Side note: To this day, I have NEVER hit someone. Not even my ex's mini-psycho niece who, at age four, walloped me in my [censored] so hard she left a hand print--though I desperately wanted to smack her right back...

I know it is "old fashioned" but I think the phrase "Children should be seen and not heard" should be brought back in style. A quiet child is a disciplined, polite child, IMHO.



I've never hit anyone either. There are some other "adult" relatives that, because they are so damned psycho, I've WANTED to, but I've held back. I'm just too nice.

I really enjoyed reading this, and the comments posted beneath it. Fascinating. I agree with the author. It's no wonder so many unwanted children are born - people are pressured and harrassed unmercifully to have kids, and it isn't right. How dare someone tell us what is right for us? If you aren't drawn to having children, that's a pretty good indicator that you shouldn't have them. No one walks around putting their hands on women's foreheads and says, you know, you really haven't been using your brain much lately. Maybe you should read a book, or take some classes. But someone can put their hand on your belly and inquire about your childless state? I don't think so. So rude!

There is a phrase I hate, and it's in a few country songs, about how "something is missing." People having kids because "something was missing." "We wanted more."

Drives me nuts. If something is missing, maybe you need a hobby. Children shouldn't be a hobby. You should have a better reason for wanting children.

Some of the people that commented on the article were saying that the author should get over herself - no one cares about when or if she decides to reproduce. But they do care! It's a big deal, for some reason. People I BARELY KNOW ask me all the time! I guess this is all part of the evolution of women's choices. First, we had no choice. Then we had choices, and people judged or harrassed us if we didn't choose the "right" one. And hopefully, in the future, we will have our choices, and they will be respected. People are always talking about how wonderful diversity is, why can't reproductive diversity be wonderful, too?