BellaOnline Forums Relationships Relationships Cheating?

Yes, that's entertainment, and alot of THAT is stupid, too but it is legal, produced in legal studios, with paid actor/actresses who compete for the part and who have REAL contracts. They are not just about the sex and nudity, like porn, and are not produced like porn where the "actors are solicited" and not usually paid "contract wages". Porn has too many negative facets to make any part of it healthy for the people IN the porn or for society who WATCH the porn, IMHO, like underage prticpants, drugs, illegal activities, etc.

Now Jerry Springer, that's just a total joke, and to think that some people actually believe that it is real! I think he should start every show with a disclaimer which shows his people: prompting the participants on how to act enraged; and when to start swinging; and where to be when they "put on their surprised look". It is so corny. They actually ran a news piece on it last week on how Jerry Springer and his "people" set up all the "actors" AND the action, as stupid as IT is.

Entertainment? I still like the "french" speaking, wife dressed like a maid, sitting on her husband's lap, feeding him yogurt - short play! Commercials entertain.

Trish

Anything that interferes from your daily life and your emotional connections to lovers, friends and family, or you ability to work and carry in in a civilized (um, is that what this is?) world, is entering the world of an addiction ... be it alcohol, drugs, gamimg or porn.

However, if it is that upsetting to the woman, the couple should talk about their realistic expectations of his time spent on it, and then she should let him be! (or join in).

exactly Kat

Cute cat, Jase. But what part are you saying "exactly" to?

Kat, from what you say, I'm not sure what you mean.



Anything that interferes with your daily life ... is entering the world of addiction ... be it alcohol, drugs, gaming or porn. However, if it is that upsetting to the woman, the couple should talk about their realistic expectations of his time spent on it, and then she should let him be! (or join in).

WHAT? ... "then she should let him be! (or join in)."

Are you saying that a wife should join a husband doing alcohol drinking or gaming (legal activities) AS WELL AS drugs (illegal) or porn or just let him do what he wants? We are talking about a marriage, not about going steady. We are talking about committments to love and honor. We are talking about respect. Respect to please your partner and not just yourself.

Trish

We can not expect a wife to join her husband to do all this.

LOL Sorry... to it all I agree (about the different things that can be addictions). I am not sure about the join in one though.

And thanks.. I love my Samson. He's a hellion, but I love him. You can see more of him atBellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!

Jase, he looks like he could give you a good teasing and then catch you coming around the corner just to surprise you! They are good friends, though, aren't they?

I'm glad to understand that you meant "exactly" about them ALL being addictions. Yes, they all CAN be addictions and that is too bad.

Trish

I stand by my original post.

However, I will add that I do not feel that porn can add a "healthy dimension to a sexual relationship" because it gives unrealistic expectations of women for one, and of what women want for two. It also creates creates an environment of addiction: it takes harder porn to get a man interested over time, which in the long run makes men more unlikely to be satisfied by a "real" woman because they are used to being satisfied by fictional stories and airbrushed women.

Dez

The implication in all of the recent posts is that you assume porn is the only outlet the man in question is getting. If he's still getting the real thing from the missus, and the couple is playing by the same old house rules, his expectations in both porn and real life are likely to remain stable.

My fiance has been enjoying pornography for well over a decade. It hasn't turned him into a monster and likely never will. He looks at that stuff and thinks whatever it is he wants to think about it. He still comes into MY bed and plays by OUR rules. He has never expressed any interest in playing out what he sees in porn. Do you want to guess why? He sees the difference between entertainment and actual sex.

It's called choosing an intelligent adult for a partner. It prevents all kinds of problems in a relationship.

Also, I think the implication that all porn is filmed is slimy back rooms with underpaid, under aged, meth-head hookers is very closed minded. Yes, some porn studios are that bad. Not all. Seriously, you could say the same negative things about nearly any industry. Probably the percentages are higher in the erotic film industry. That doesn't mean such circumstances apply to everyone involved in it.

There are SOME legitimate studios, indeed, who test their actors and actresses and are truly out to MAKE money. Unfortunately, porn these days involves many different levels and that includes all the kiddos that have webcams in their bedrooms and try to make their "own versions" of porn.

Yes, Myrabeth, some men can enjoy many things and still turn back to "their" woman to fulfull their sexual desires. I still think, however, that what is photographed in the mind's eye, when watching video, is still part of what the brain and body are playing out in the couple's bedroom. I think it takes some of the creativity and spontaneity out of the natural course of actions.

I am glad that your man does not have any addictive behaviors who overuses porn and DOES know the difference between entertainment and actual sex. My question to you is, if he is used to watching it now, and is getting no resistance from you, how are you going to be when you are having "actual sex" at 50 and he is still getting his entertainment watching the bodies of 20 somethings? Do you still think porn will be healthy for your relationship? Or do you think you might be one of the statistics where the man, in his "midlife crisis", wants to find one of those younger, able bodied women he has been watching? Or do you think that without porn, the two of you MIGHT have been able to grow older together, physically AND emotionally?

Trish